Yesterday, I was hit by a bad flu bug. I spent the whole day mostly lying on the carpet, while the boys played around me, getting up to just cook meals and feed the kids. So I was rather relieved when the hubby offered to take leave today to help out at home. "Hooooray!", I thought. I envisioned sleeping in, and letting the hubby take care of the kids, as well as the meals. All I had to do was nurse the baby, and perhaps the hubby would get a taste of what it was like to juggle the home plus kids.
So I woke up this morning, defrosted baby J's lunch, and helped to prepare breakfast. We all had breakfast. I went off to the kitchen, and came back, and the boys were all sitting there. Or rather, the baby was trying to wreck the cardboard kitchen, Junior J was pottering, and the hubby was doing some cutting. Of his toenails. Hmm.
"How about going for a walk?" I suggested, since it seemed like good weather. Junior J said "NO!" as usual, and the hubby continued with his cutting. After some time, he's done with his nails, and manages to convince Junior J to go out. He gets the boys dressed, and they head out.
The pile of breakfast things are sitting on the table staring at me, so I clear them, thinking I can nap after that. 5 minutes later, the boys return. It's started to rain. I remind hubby about preparing lunch, and retreat for a nap.
I fall asleep for something like 15 minutes when the hubby is back. Baby J wants to feed. So I feed baby and he conks out... only to wake when he's done feeding. So I go out to hand the baby over. Its 25 minutes to lunch, and there's no food in sight. Thus far, he's taken out an egg and a clove of garlic and placed it on the counter. I ask, and the hubby says he will only cook just right before lunch, or the food will be cold. Baby J is grumpy (he's also sick) and starts to cry. I pass baby over and end up cooking tagliatelle for lunch, and preparing the baby's meal.
We have lunch. I end up feeding baby J, who hasn't been very co-operative at meals. The hubby gives Junior J a bath... and later, I finally get to nap while baby J naps. Thankfully, the hubby helped to cook the soup, and I finish with dinner prep.
Today I was reminded about our roles. How we're suited for them. And how we complement each other, but as individuals are indispensable in the family. Its like how the hubby can cook, but only when he can slowly mess about with the food and experiment with tastes. He's not one built for cooking speed, while carrying a baby and answering the questions of a 3 year old. I may be a lousy cook, but at least I manage to put the meals on the table, more or less on time.
I am thankful that we're different, and equipped to fulfil our roles in the family. He is the walking animal encyclopedia, the one that dispenses random facts at will. While Mama's the one with a brain like a sieve (pregnancy does that to you, and worse if its two!).
I'm thankful that we each have our strengths and passions. The hubby is good at his work, and gets a great sense of satisfaction when his patients wake up pain-free. He loves his job, so much so that when he holds and looks at my hands, he does not lovingly regard the calluses caused by household chores, but the large veins that would be easy to get a needle into! And as for me, I more or less manage to run the home, albeit a rather messy one, and enjoy being home with the kids.
So Papa can't be Mama, and vice versa. At least that's what today taught me. And meanwhile, while those naps elude me, I'm thankful that the hubby was willing to stay home to help. And at least I have some in-house entertainment from the big boy, who's still relatively cheerful despite being down with the same bug!
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| Giving me a concert while Mama was flat out on the carpet. Please excuse all that laundry that has piled up. That's another ability the hubby has, being blind to the pile of clothes! |
What are you thankful for this week?
Such a great post. Yes, hubbies have these superpowers of not seeing stuff cos they usually have higher thresholds than us (and i already have a very high threshold for mess/dirt/disorder).
ReplyDeleteThe hands part was real funny!
Take care, and get well soon!
Littlebluebottle: Lyn, thanks! We're on the mend. And I realize, a higher threshold is sometimes good then I won't get nagged about messes! ;)
DeleteHi MamaJ... I really like the way you put a positive spin on the whole experience in the end. I guess sometimes we just have to live life as how it is, as imperfect as it might be. And yes, dads are often suited for 'different' roles, but the main thing is that they are THERE! Don't need to feel bad about the laundry pile... sometimes we live off the laundry pile too until the next wash day when the cycle starts all over again ^_^
ReplyDeleteSerenely: Yes, you're right, at least they are present! :) and haha, that mountain grows and never seems to grow smaller! Oh well, day by day. At least I know I'm not the only one with a pile!
DeleteThat's so sweet of your hub! Cannot expext the same standard as us, whatever they (thr hubs) can or are willing to do deserve a big round of applause, haha.
ReplyDeleteLOL @ his occupational hazards :))
Kam family: You have a point there! Was glad he took leave to help. At least it was easier, & he was willing!
DeleteWow, what a good way to look at it. I totally see that happening to me and I would just be all depressed and angry with the husband haha...
ReplyDeleteSophiastory: I did initially! Was quite frazzled, but on hindsight he did try his best, & if he was great at the childminding cooking cleaning gig I would be the one who would have to go to work haha!
DeleteThanks for this post 'cos it is a good wake up call for me. LOL. I am the type A tornado that zooms in and out and I get frustrated with the man at times when he can't catch up / lost in translation.
ReplyDeleteReading your post gives me a different perspective and how right you are and how humbled I am. Thank You Jus. I enjoyed this and needed this. :)
Beanienus: I think I know where you're coming from, cos somedays I get frustrated & impatient! Guess men are just different that way...
DeleteIt's nice to have a romantic guy who admires your veins!
ReplyDeleteI once had a medical student take me out for a nice dinner date only to ask if he could practice phlebotomy on me.... in the middle of the restaurant!
And I like your perspective and take! Glad you are better now (since this is a week old by now)
Nerdymum: Not if he's thinking of poking a needle in them! ;P
ReplyDeleteAnd oh dear! I think you said no?