Dear Mummy with the mixed feelings...

Maybe you were the one having a sinking feeling this morning, when you remembered the pile of sheets you had to wash because of a leaky diaper. Or maybe you were feeling defeated, when by 9 am the kids already had two fights. Or perhaps you were frustrated, because the two year old was throwing a tantrum before breakfast, because he wanted tissue to wipe his tears but the tissue box was empty, simply because the day before he had taken all the tissues out, shredded them and threw them all over the house.

Perhaps you were the mum who felt bad for shouting at your toddler, because he was grumpy from waking up three times the night before, and absolutely refused to eat his cereal. Or you lost your temper when your little foodie, who usually gulps down his lunch in 15 minutes, demands for "Pasta only!" and screams when you put sauce in his bowl, and then needs to be fed his lunch while you had to bounce a fretting baby in a carrier. You might be the mum who felt like tearing her hair out because the kids didn't want to drink their water the whole day and had to be chased with their water bottles.

Or you might be the mum who yelled at the kids, when you went to the toilet and returned to find that they had found some twine and a scissors, and were busy cutting little bits of fibre and flinging them everywhere. And then you felt terrible for losing your temper, especially when you just told them not to yell at each other.

You may be the mum who felt too tired to bring them down to the playground to play, and then was plagued by feelings of guilt. Or you may have been fighting this rising sense of irritation with the older kids, who didn't seem to be able to turn their volume down when you were trying to get the baby to sleep.

Maybe you were the tired mum, who had to rock the baby to sleep umpteen times, because he woke up every single time you put him down during his naps. Or your back ached for carrying him almost the whole day while you did your chores. Perhaps you struggled to feed the baby because he was fussy or didn't want to drink or was just plain distracted.

Perhaps you were the mum who felt frazzled, because you had to bathe the kids while the baby wailed in the background, but the kids squirmed and splashed and took their time. Or you felt guilty, because you were rushing to cook and couldn't read a book to them, or because you felt like hiding in the toilet for 10 minutes, to be away from all the "mama mama!"s. Maybe you felt like crying, when someone gives some unhelpful remark like "I've never seen kids fighting so much before!".

Well then, mummy, amidst all the feelings of frustration of things going wrong, and amidst feeling guilty for things that you think you did wrong... take some time to think of the things you did right today. Think of the times the kids played nicely together, and said please and thank you, and the times when they asked nicely for toys and negotiated instead of throwing punches.

Think of the frozen (but still healthy) meal you cooked for lunch, which had veggies in it. Think of the books you read, the booboos you kissed, the advice you dished out (whether or not it was heeded is a different thing). Think of the dinner that went into their tummies, and breathe in the scent of kiddy shampoo and clean skin because you gave them their baths.

Think of the baby growing well, because you have been diligent in feeding him. Enjoy that baby cooing that comes after a feed. Think of the lessons your kids have learnt today, from the books you read, or from resolving the fights they had, or from helping out at home. Think of the relatively chaos-free home that greets your hubby when he comes home. Think of the clean clothes that came out from the washer, because you loaded and ran a wash cycle.

Then give yourself a short break when you can afford it, have that cup of tea, or that bar of chocolate, or that slice of cake. Whatever that tickles your tummy's fancy. Each day comes with its own challenges, and tomorrow would probably be challenging too. And the day after. And the day after that. While we face those challenges each day, it is easy to get stressed over what we did wrong and what we did not do. Even as we try to be better each day, try to remember the things you did right. We are not perfect, but we are saved by grace, so let's extend that grace to ourselves and to other mummies out there!

~~~~~~~

I'm writing this at the end of a long crappy day (what I wrote probably describes everything that happened today!), and I admit that by dinner time I was ready to throw the older kids at the hubby, and run away from home for a couple of days with the baby (since he still had to nurse). Except that the hubby had to attend a late meeting over dinner and only came home when I was putting the older ones to bed. I was so thankful for my mum who came over to help at dinner time. 

And as I was thinking about everything that went wrong today, I realized, there were things that went right. And while each day can sometimes feel like a whole mess, there is always progress as we plug on. So I'm trying to take motherhood from a "glass half full" perspective instead, and I hope you'll join me!

Linking up with:

Thankful Tuesdays: These days...

... have been tiring. But I am thankful that these are also the days of:

:: Growing and getting stronger...

He now can sit in the bumbo, and loves just sitting in there and watching his brother play.

:: Exploring new places and learning new things:

It was our first time visiting the Art Science Museum, and the waterlilies were blooming outside. It was gorgeous!

Junior J was rather scared at the exhibition because of the loud roaring.
However in general we felt it was a very good exhibition!

:: Building:

The boys love constructing stuff. And I think they are learning how to play together better.

:: Hanging out together:

These two spend so much time together and they swing from fighting like crazy, to doing all kinds of things together. 

I am just so glad that I can stay home and be their mama. And I am thankful for these ordinary days. It's true that the days are long but the years are short, and I'm trying to treasure all these little moments!

What are you thankful for?
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One happy mama & one great promo!

Junior J is finally reading! It has taken awhile for us to get to this point. I must admit I was getting worried when he was so reluctant to read to us, while all the kids around his age seemed to be reading fluently. He seemed to be able to recognize many words, but would clam up if we asked him to read anything to us. 

However, these days, he's been picking up books and spending time trying to figure out the words (rather than just flipping through the pictures). He's also started reading to his little brother. :) I guess he's now more confident after all our Bob book sessions in the afternoon, and just immersing the kids in books has helped them to enjoy reading. 

And speaking of kids and reading, the Groovy Giraffe has hit more than 1000 Facebook likes, and is celebrating this milestone by giving readers a 15% discount for books in the Children's category! This includes books from the Pop-up, Picture, Early Reader, Activity, Chapter, Non-fiction to Audio books categories. Just key in the coupon code "mm15" to enjoy the discount! This promotion is valid from now until 19th March 2014, so quick, grab those books for your kids before they are gone!

Wordless Wednesday: My three babies

Some days, the older two like to pretend they are babies:

They place baby's beanie bolster over their tummy, kick their legs in the air and start going "Waawaaawaa" as well as declare "I need patpat!", and give each other pats on the tummy. Its noisy, but hilarious though. But I think it gives baby a headache!

Linking up with:

  

Thankful Tuesday: Pause

The hubs is on call and it has been a long day, so I'm going to keep this short as I can barely keep my eyes open! Our days are full, and I am just glad for time to sit down to write, to unwind and take a little time off from being "Mama". I am thankful for this blog which sometimes acts as a pensieve, allowing me to siphon off all the thoughts bouncing around in my head. It really helps me to unwind. 

Now how about you? What are you thankful for this week? 

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Maxilla: A story of respecting nature (and a giveaway!)

Recently, we were blessed to receive a copy of "Maxilla" to read. This book is based on a real-life story of Reuben, who finds a caterpillar in the school garden. He names the little creature Maxilla, and decides to keep her as a pet. However, he finds out that Maxilla would not be able to thrive in captivity, and has to decide whether he should continue to keep his new pet, or return her to her natural habitat. 

I read the story to both the older boys, and Junior J enjoyed the simple story. Lil J was busy looking for the caterpillar in the lovely illustrations. I particularly loved the message of the book: to respect nature and how sometimes being loving means letting go. We go on walks frequently, and I think it is important for the boys to learn how to respect nature, and not disturb the living creatures they encounter during those outdoor forays.  

From the learning point of view, this book was useful in teaching the life-cycle of the butterfly (the book also includes a description of the life cycle from Maxilla's point of view). To complement our reading, we did a couple of butterfly crafts. 

The boys painted on toilet rolls and paper cut into the shape of butterfly wings...

... and we added goggly eyes and antennae using pipe cleaners.

We also made these caterpillar/butterfly crafts (you can get the instructions here). These were supposed to unfold into butterflies:

What was interesting was that Junior J folded the ice-cream sticks around the caterpillar and declared that was the chrysalis, before unfolding it to reveal the butterfly wings!

These activities aside, you could also try getting the butterfly kit from Oh Farms so you can observe the caterpillars pupating and turning into butterflies. Or try this pasta activity (that comes with a lovely printable), which used different shaped pasta to represent the different stages in the life cycle of the butterfly.

And if your child loves hearing stories being read to him/her, there would be story-telling sessions by the author of the book, Lianne Ong, in March:

      - 15 March, 1 to 2pm at MPH Bookstores, Parkway Parade

      - 21 March, 12 to 1pm at Woodlands Regional Library, Programme Zone

~~~~~~~

MPH Bookstores is kindly giving away a copy of "Maxilla" to THREE blog readers! Just follow the instructions in the Rafflecopter widget below to enter in the giveaway (please remember to leave your email address in the comments so we can contact you if you win!):

a Rafflecopter giveaway

PS: You can follow our book recommendations over here at our Facebook page.

PPS: The usual disclaimer. We received a copy of "Maxilla" from MPH Bookstores for review purposes. No monetary compensation was received, and all opinions are our own.

Homeschool: Our routine right now

We've more or less settled into a routine these days, and it looks something like this:

Baby usually is the first to wake and he gets his feed. Then he gets playtime in the cot, while I quickly hop into the shower and then prep breakfast. (I'm hoping to wake up earlier, but it has not been happening these days. But I'm still trying!)

Usually the boys then wake (or I go into their room and wake them!), and we have breakfast after praying. We read a couple of books at the table too. They help me to clear the breakfast dishes, and we head downstairs. Most days its to the playground or for walks. Sometimes we take the scooters down. Sometimes we head to the market. 

Then it's back home, where we usually read books. Sometimes, they get activities. Most days it's just reading.

We've started attending a co-op that has weekly meetings at the zoo.
This was one of the accompanying activities that Junior J tried after one visit.

Then I go off to cook lunch while the boys play on their own. They are pretty good at playing on their own and come up with all sorts of imaginary scenarios, ranging from picnics to being beavers building a dam.

Lunch is usually very simple, and I aim to get cooking done in 20 minutes. If I take too long, the kids start melting down and asking for snacks. Which you know means they spoil their appetite for lunch! The boys usually eat pretty fast since they are hungry.

Usually we have pasta or noodles for lunch. Simple to cook!

Then they potter about after helping me to clear the table, and after awhile Lil J goes down for his nap. Recently, he's learnt how to nap on his own. On a good day I put a diaper on him, settle him in his bed and leave the room, and he falls asleep on his own. (Let's not go into what happens on a bad day.) Meanwhile, Junior J gets to watch an episode of Magic School Bus or Berenstain Bears, and once Lil J is settled I bathe baby J. If dinner is something that needs a couple of hours of simmering/baking, I start preparing the food, and Junior J sometimes joins me to help.

We then have "mama school" where Junior J does a lil phonics, writing and reading. Sometimes we have more time before Lil J wakes and we play games. Usually we don't, since I also have to settle the fretting baby, so I just aim to complete the phonics and reading bit.

I love how this game allows them to practice math!

Lil J gets a cup of milk after he wakes and we read a couple of books. Then they get to be messy with art and craft. Some days its just paints and paper and their creativity, some days they get craft to do.

Junior J washes up the brushes and palette, they get their baths, and then they play on their own while I prepare dinner. Some days they get cranky and get into fights, and usually that is when I give them some blocks or building stuff for them to play with to keep them occupied. 

What I've realized recently is that the hour before dinner is usually when the kids are the crankiest and the most prone to fighting (and violently at that). And having to break up fights usually means dinner is delayed, which tends to lead to more crankiness. So I find that its best to get one boy to help in the kitchen while I cook, while the other one plays on his own. 

Dinner gets cooked and we eat. Usually hubby is home in time for dinner, if not, we start without him. Then its free play again, and the hubs reads to them if he is back. They clean up and keep their toys and books (usually that takes ages, since they get distracted), then read a couple more books while drinking their milk/juice. Then the hubs settles the boys, changes them and prays with them while I put baby to bed.

Thus far, having a routine really works, since we work with the boys' rhythm. We do deviate from this on some days, eg. the day we head out to the zoo, or when Junior J goes for music class (something we started him on this week, after a long long discussion!). But I'm glad to say it really helps to have a predictable rhythm! (And if you are wondering where is the baby in the whole thing, well most times he's either sleeping in the carrier or room, or sitting in his chair cooing at us. He's been quite cranky and needs to be rocked in the carrier before he can sleep, so I spend alot of time bouncing around like some crazy kangaroo while going about our day's work!)

PS: You can take a peek a typical day in the life of different mummies here! Have a blessed weekend!

Thankful Tuesdays: Trusting in God's timing

I met an old schoolmate in church the other day, and learnt that she was expecting twins! She said she was scared, because she wasn't sure how she was going to manage. However, she also shared about how God's timing was good: her husband didn't have to travel as often as he usually does during her first trimester, when she was battling bad morning sickness. And while there were lots of questions and worries, I was encouraged by how she was willing to trust God to bring her through.

And as I reflected upon our conversation, I was struck by God's good timing, especially in the area of parenthood. Being a parent is tough. You have to care for a helpless infant that is totally dependent on you. Being a mother, you would have to battle sleepless nights, work out feeding issues, change countless diapers even when you are so tired you can't see straight. Then they start growing into toddlers and your heart stops every time you see them take a fall. There are the issues of disobedience, of hard-to-feed fussies, of fevers and visits to the emergency department, of tired nights soothing night terrors or little ones who still need you to comfort them every three hours. And then later they become teenagers and you get another whole new lot of challenges. Some nights you lay in bed thinking if you've messed up your kids, and wonder how on earth can you bring up these little ones well.

It is not easy. But then I also saw how God had timed it all: giving us our fussiest baby later, when we had the experience of caring for two babies behind us. When we were more or less settled back home in Singapore, instead of when we were in Germany. With Junior J we struggled with feeding, with getting him to sleep, with reflux. But that was when we only had one child and had a little more time to sort these issues out. Lil J was the easiest in terms of sleep and feeding issues when he was a baby, and that coincided with our move overseas, when we were on our own most of the time.

As we struggled with various issues of parenting, God provided various friends who were also going through similar issues, and we could keep each other in prayer. When we started exploring the idea of homeschooling the kids, He provided a community of other homeschooling parents, some who were also just starting out. On tough days, there is always some respite: a hug from Junior J, surprise happy mail, some silly joke from Lil J. Some days may be really crazy (they say you're not supposed to cry over spilt milk, but there are days spilt milk really makes me want to cry. And yell.), but I know He doesn't give me more than I can bear.

All in all, this week has been a tough week. But He has provided, and He will continue to sustain, and for that I am so thankful.
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Homeschool: The first week

This was our first "official" week of homeschool. The hubs was on leave for the past two weeks leading up to Chinese New Year, so I didn't have a schedule or planned activities for the kids, as they were happy just hanging out with Papa. Then the hubs went back to work this week. Thus far, I must say things have been a lil crazy, since Baby J seems to be one of those clingy babies that need to be carried most of the time. The evenings are the worst, where baby is cranky, and the two older ones are getting tired and start fighting over all sorts of things, and I'm rushing to get dinner ready.

But crazy times aside, it has been quite a week of learning (for me especially!). Learning to pray hard for wisdom. Learning how to plan things so that it flows with everyone's rhythm. Learning how to teach Lil J to fall asleep on his own during naps and at night. Learning what piques their interest, and what the kids do understand or don't understand. Learning to deal with matters of the heart, like their attitude towards learning, above matters of the head (the academic bits).

This week, we started on a little phonics (five minutes from Teach Your Child to Read), and a little writing (we're waiting for our Handwriting Without Tears books to arrive, and meanwhile are just using an exercise book), plus Junior J gets to practice his reading with a couple of Bob Books each day. He more or less can read easy readers on his own, however, he tends to read by sight, so I'm hoping this would help him along his reading journey.

In the evenings, I rely alot on puzzles to keep the boys from fighting.
This one (a birthday gift) has been keeping Junior J busy.

Lil J has been asking to do "mama school" too, so I've been trying to give him puzzles and math manipulatives at the table. This little boy has a really short attention span, but I'm glad that he's trying to focus, and is actually interested in the tasks at hand. He's never been one to sit through a book, however, this week we've been reading and reading and reading (and not once has he asked to watch a video, something he used to do previously). He especially loves "The Big Green Pocketbook" and "Owl Babies", and we've read both a few times this week. I'm thinking of planning activities for him based on the Before Five in a Row curriculum, and we'll see how that goes.

We've also been dabbling in art everyday. I love these sessions, since the house is the quietest then (unless Baby J is fretting!). Thus far, it's been open-ended with just paints and paper. We've experimented with mixing primary colours, and gradually mixing white paint into a single colour. It's interesting to see the boys at work. Lil J just experiments with mixing the paints and blopping them all over, while Junior J has started painting real life objects/scenes on his own accord, something he didn't do previously.

It was supposed to be a heart stamping session for Vday... 

... but he turned his into a circuit. He was painting in the battery and said the blobs were charges.

The older two have also been helping a lot more at home. They help with the laundry, they set the table, they clear their plates and cups after meals and they wipe the table. Clean-up time is still quite a challenge though, as they are always getting distracted, but we've started using a chart with stickers for certain chores, so I'm hoping that might help.

The boys have also been getting an hour or so outdoors to just run about and explore. We've gathered loads of pods and fruit, and I'm hoping to start filling up nature journals. In fact, I'm hoping to do lots of things with both of them, but for now, I'm just going to take it step by step. After all, I keep reminding myself that it's progress, and not perfection we're aiming for.

All in all, I think it has been a pretty good week. Tiring though, but I'm looking forward to next week!

Junior J's 5th: Dino party games

We played only two games for Junior J's party. Puzzle "excavation", where the kids had to dig through a tray of crepe paper to find puzzle pieces, and figure out what goes where. Sort of like how the paleontologists have to figure out which bones belong to which dinosaur. There were more than 10 puzzles in total, so it wasn't that straightforward, even though the puzzles were pretty simple in themselves! The kids had to sometimes swop pieces, so they had to work together.

I printed, laminated and cut up the puzzles and pictures from here, here and here.

Then the kids also tried their hand at excavating dinosaurs. I was contemplating using sand, but the thought of 7 kids flicking sand everywhere was quite scary! So we tried freezing dinosaur figures (from Tom and Stefanie) in containers and giving the kids spoons to chip at the ice (no forks, since they might hurt other little fingers). This took quite awhile, so our game-master poured warm water over some blocks to speed up the process a little. 

They had quite a bit of fun just banging away at the ice blocks, but also had to be careful to ensure they were chipping at the ice and not at the dino itself, in case they damaged them! And they got to bring home the dinos that they excavated out. Cleaning up was straight-forward: just a quick wipe of the floor with rags and we were done. We asked parents to bring an extra set of clothes for the kids, just in case.

There were some other games that I thought of trying. However, this was the first time we were running games, so I wasn't too sure if the kids would be interested. Thankfully, they still managed to keep themselves occupied the rest of the time!

PS: For more game ideas, pop by to this post about an awesome dino-themed party by another mum!