I've been living in a state of "in-between" these days. It's an uncomfortable state, one where you feel like you are waiting, with baited breath, for something to happen, for things to get better.
It's how the boxes of various things purchased for the new home pile up around the house, as we wait the legal matters to be sorted, and the keys to be handed over. It's how I literally suck in my breath, and hold in the abdominal muscles, when I put the baby in the carrier to gain back the use of my hands, even though I've read that babywearing may make my diastasis recti worse. It's how we pat and rock the baby, knowing that it gets better in a few months. It's how I sit by the toddler who tosses and turns and talks and does everything but nap, knowing that he is is teetering on the edge of the parenting crazy cliff called "I need a nap", and wondering when he will finally reach the stage where he will truly not need one. It is how I feel, clogged and congested, with my second bug in a row, wondering when I will ever stop coughing.
I don't do transitions well. So I struggle with these "in-betweens", always hoping for things to settle down. But I am reminded that change is our only constant... and that a Christian's life is always in that state of "in-between", as we wait here on earth for Christ to come again. And this stage of being stuck means there is something to look forward to: moving to our new home, not having to rush home for the afternoon nap (until the youngest starts being unable to nap on the go), recovering and feeling better, the delightful months of cooing and gurgling that follow the initial demands of the newborn stage. (Oh how fast they grow, especially in the first two years!) And of course, ultimately, our home in heaven.
So I keep praying, and thinking of the things that are to come. The "in-betweens" start feeling a little less like hindrances, but more like building blocks of anticipation and hope. Meanwhile, I look around me and see so many blessings: these four little children, who are learning to care and love each other, the hubby, who has stepped up so much, our parents, who tirelessly help out and shower so much love on the kids, my friends, who help in practical ways and send prayers when I need them most. And I am so thankful.
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