Why I keep blogging

Recently, a friend of mine decided to shut down her blog, and take herself off social media, deleting both her FB and Instagram accounts. It came as quite a shock, since her blog was a well-loved and popular one. This, plus some recent discussions with some other mummy bloggers about our purpose for blogging, has led me to think hard about the future of this blog. 

Why do we blog? For many parent bloggers, we start off wanting to chronicle the fleeting moments of our children's growing up years. Some start blogging because they want to write about a topic they are passionate about, like travelling or cooking. In most cases, the aspect of advertorials and sponsorships creep in. I think many of us parent bloggers start when our children are pretty young, and there is lots to write about with regards to activities, things to do, and places to visit. Then comes the question of privacy and security issues: What is ok to share online? Are we compromising on our children's safety by sharing about the things we do? Some mummy bloggers have shared that it is because of these issues, that they have decided to go the route of posting mainly advertorials and reviews on their blogs, and many parenting blogs these days are penned in the style of lifestyle blogs. 

So what about this blog? I have been thinking really hard about it.

I know this blog is here to stay, at least for awhile more, simply because I love to write. I've enjoyed the process of putting thoughts into words, and pen to paper, since I was really little. When I was in Secondary School, we were asked to write journal entries as homework, and that was one exercise I simply loved, along with writing compositions. (I recently found some of those journals when packing the house, along with stories that me and my friend wrote together, which had titles like "Hamsters in Singa-paw", and "Caverly Hills 90210". Those really made me smile!)

Perhaps it's because I am an introvert who finds it hard to express myself verbally, or maybe it's because I find myself being blessed by the writing of others. Whatever the case, I find that there is power in the written word: you can weave stories and change them as and when you pleased, you can create entire worlds by penning paragraphs down, you can encourage and uplift others from what you write. 

So it is this love of writing that keeps this blog going. I'll have to be mindful of what I share and post publicly, because I have to respect the privacy of my children, so as time progresses, you'll find that we'll be sharing less and less personal details about our kids. However, I still hope to be real and authentic in this space, so I plan to continue to blog about some of our struggles as parents. Parenting is tough, and staying home with the kids is exhausting, and these are the very real things that I want to write about. Many of you have written in to tell me about how you are encouraged by the posts here and on FB, and that encourages me so much. 

Also, I've realized that through this blog, we can be an alternative voice. I want to continue to encourage the value of free play instead of cramming our kids with activities and enrichment, and share with parents how you can let your children explore art and learning at home. We also hope to be able to give you a glimpse into our lives homeschooling in Singapore, which I hope encourages others that it is do-able, and dispel various myths about what homeschooling entails (like subject-filled timetables and lonely kids facing their books at home all day).

I've written about our stand about minimizing the commercial aspect of blogging before. While I see no harm in taking up sponsorships and review opportunities that are in line with our values and needs, I am still trying to be discerning and selective about what I say yes to. I admit that the fear of missing out still lurks in the corner of my heart, when I see some bloggers getting sponsorship after sponsorship, and running giveaways that boost their likes and following. However, I keep reminding myself that I need to "eliminate to concentrate", and I do not want to get side-tracked into doing more "commercial" writing for the wrong reasons. 

This blog has branched off, with the FB page as well as Instagram. Those are the two areas that I plan to keep on going too, since FB allows me to quickly share inspiration: from encouraging articles, to helpful tips and inspirational posts. I love browsing through photos and taking pictures, so IG for me is another way of writing our story, where we freeze our moments in little squares. However, I admit that keeping on track with all the conversations in the comments section for these three aspects (as well as email and PMs!) is one area that I struggle with, so please be patient as I try to get back to you when you drop me a note. 

With baby #4 almost here and our impending move, I foresee that the blog will be quieter this year. However, please stick around ok? I promise I'll keep writing, and I'll continue to be real in this space!

Grateful Gatherings: On blogging and contentment

Blogging is a journey of sorts, and I am glad that ours has been a journey of self-discovery and of inner growth. I've been reflecting more about the purpose of this blog recently (more about my blogging process here). This blog was started mainly to chronicle the story of our family, but grew to include sharing our interests in crafts, learning and home decor. As the boys grow older, I think the issue of privacy would become more pertinent, and the focus of this blog would shift towards sharing about homeschooling and our other interests, and less about our personal journey. Whatever the case, I am very thankful for this journey thus far, and our very kind community of readers who never fail to encourage me. 

Some time ago, a fellow mum blogger Christy penned a piece on blogger envy, which shared about her feelings about her purpose of writing and her views on sponsorship. The post resonated with me, because I knew the feelings she was going through: of comparing my blog and sponsorships with other bloggers, of wondering why so-and-so managed to get this and that deal, of pondering about popularity vs. privacy. 

Reading her post reminded me of our stand to prune this year: to be focused in writing useful and relevant posts, and intentional in the reviews and sponsorships we do. I admit that while we have been extremely selective in which collaborations we have taken up, I have had difficulty saying "no" sometimes. I found myself saying "yes" to companies wanting to send something for us to try, with no obligations needed to share about it, only to find myself feeling bad that I didn't feel impressed enough to want to share the product with others. (I know, it's just me!) I would then keep the products and note them down in my To-Do list to share, which increased my mental clutter and physical clutter. I think it's time for me to stop accepting these "freebies", and only say yes if these are things that we would really use or are things we needed in the first place. (On a side note, this post on not accepting freebies made a lot of sense, and is one reason for my decision.) While I'm grateful for these gifts, and we might perhaps miss out on some revolutionary new product along the way, I think we really lack nothing. 

I've been thinking about enrichment classes and activities too. I've constantly battled thoughts of whether we were short-changing the kids by not letting them go for various classes, events or trials. In Singapore, children have lots of activities to choose from, and we've been invited for various meet-and-greets, trial classes, and events. Thus far, we've only tried one June holiday class, which both boys enjoyed, as their co-op mates happened to also attend the same class. However, we've more or less decided that our schedule is filled up for now, with two co-ops and swimming for the boys, as well as piano class for Junior J. Our weekends are blocked off for family time, which means no blogger events, since that would mean Mama would be "working". We want to consciously slow down our family schedules. Our schedule now works for us, with plenty of time outdoors, time to play and learn with friends, plenty of free time (at least for the boys!), and we don't have the rushed feeling of bouncing from one activity to the next. So unless its something that we really love, or something the boys really need (like a great Chinese programme), we're going to say "no". 

I am very thankful that the hubby has kept me grounded with regards to these matters, even though I used to feel a tad annoyed that his first instinct was to say "no" for almost everything! His stand is very clear: We try to avoid accepting assignments that require deadlines, since he knows I can get stressed trying to rush those posts out, and we don't review things or experiences that ordinary middle-income folk would balk at spending on. In a sense, while it would be lovely to share about some high-end dining experience, I wouldn't feel good writing about it, knowing that most of my readers will feel that these things are beyond their budget. As how the hubby puts it: "If we won't buy it if it's not sponsored, then perhaps it's something we don't need". His clear-mindedness has really helped me to focus, and it is in a sense liberating to be clear about what we stand for, and why we say "no" to certain tempting offers. Please don't get me wrong: there is no harm in accepting sponsorships and doing reviews, and I have great respect for bloggers who do it objectively to help readers get a feel of what is available in the market. It's just something that we've decided we won't be doing much of, though I admit sometimes I do still struggle with blogger envy.

Thinking through these issues have guided me to fine-tune my own direction in life. I am reminded through the blog to share what is hopefully helpful and useful, because words are powerful things and can have an impact on others. Grappling with blogger envy, identifying our priorities, needs and wants have helped me to realize what my heart has known all along: that we are really blessed, and I do not need to ask for any more. Where we are and what we have is truly enough. 

PS: A side point on blogging: We're thrilled to be selected as a finalist in the family category in this year's Singapore Blog Awards! If you've enjoyed reading our posts, or found this blog useful, we would love to have your vote here. (You can vote for 10 bloggers across all the categories each day, everyday until the 6th of July.) 

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