Baby J's guide to choosing a good diaper (Advertorial)

Hello! It's Baby J here today checking in. Mama has been pretty tired of late, and asked me to share about something I wear every single day: diapers. According to her, and my Ah Kong and Ah Ma, I am the squirmiest baby amongst the three of us boys. I guess I love giving them a challenge, so I'm usually up and crawling/running once my diaper is off! Because of that, they had to switch to pull-up/walker pants instead of the regular tape diapers, since walker pants are a lot easier to wear with one hand (so that the other hand can be free to grab me as I try to make a quick getaway). Also, I enjoy peeling off the tapes on the tape diapers, so my parents figured pants diapers would stay on better!

My parents have tried a few brands of pull-up diapers for me, and recently, I got to try the Merries Walker Pants again when Merries kindly sent some over. After all my rigorous testing, here are some tips for choosing a good diaper:

:: Softer is better, no plasticky bits please: 

Softer diapers usually are more comfortable. I tried some tape diapers where the tapes were plasticky, and I didn't like them because sometimes the tapes cut me. Also, some diapers have gathers that are rather rough too, and those caused abrasions for my brothers when they wore them. The Merries Walker Pants had nice soft gathers, so I was comfortable, and was all the more able to run away to hide when Mama was looking for me!

:: A good fit is important, but you'll only know if you try them:

How the diaper fits is important, because a good fit means less friction/abrasions, and also reduces the chance of leaks. (You should see Mama yell when my diaper leaks after a poop. Someone should tell her to lighten up. After all, it's only poop right? Everyone needs to do it right?) Also, it's helpful if the diaper has the front and back clearly labelled, especially in the case of pull-ups, and grandparents (who have worn my diaper wrongly before because the pants didn't have labels).

In the case of Merries Walker Pants, I've yet to have any leaks (phew!), and no rashes or abrasions too, even though I'm always climbing everywhere and getting into trouble. The pants have various features to ensure a good fit: soft gathers around the waist, small diagonal cuts in the crotch area to allow for a better fit and flexibility, and a flexi-fit "W" shape. (Sorry, all these adult terms are confusing for me, but I can tell you they fit well. Even the adults think so, because Merries was awarded a "Good Design Award" for the fit of their diapers.) The front is clearly labelled as such, so Kong Kong won't get confused if he has to change my diaper. 

It's hard to tell about how well diapers fit by just looking at them though, so its always good to ask for samples so you can test them out (if you want Merries Walker Pants samples, go here!). 

:: You'll want something breathable. Or you'll be stinky, or rash up:
If you're sitting in something that holds your pee for a couple of hours, you'll want it to be breathable. Especially if you live in sunny Singapore, where you're usually sweating buckets when you head outdoors. The Merries Walker Pants are designed to allow air to flow freely between the diaper and the skin, and allows moisture and heat to escape, so it means no diaper rash for me. Yay!

:: Wetness indicators can be useful. Otherwise just do the patting and smell test:

Merries Walker Pants have a wetness indicator which turns from yellow to green, which indicates that it's time to grab the baby and give him a change. Mama tells me that these are pretty useful for first-time parents, who aren't too sure about when to change a diaper. She says that she and Papa usually do what seasoned parents do: they just pat my diaper to see if they need to haul me away for a change. For poop, they do the "pull-or-smell" test: if my diaper is accessible they pull it to take a peek, and if I'm in an overall or onesie they do the sniff test! Works every time. 

This is another feature of the walker pants that Mama really loves: the tape at the back of the diaper, which you can use to wrap around the diaper when you're done with it! For tape diapers, you can use the tapes to secure the dirty diaper closed, so that you don't get runaway poop. You can't do that for walker pants, so the tape is a really useful feature!

Here's something else that I liked: these limited edition Merries Japanese dolls! For the month of August, you can redeem a pair of these really cute Japanese dolls with a minimum purchase of $50 worth of Merries diapers in a single receipt. Just visit this page, and submit your details along with a scanned copy of the receipt of your purchase. (Terms and conditions apply, and there are only 2000 pairs available for redemption!)

These dolls are now my friends at parties, and love eating the food I cook for them. At least I think they do. Thank you Merries! 

[This post was sponsored by Merries, and Mama was also sent 3 packs of walker pants for me to try. For more information, please visit their website and FB page. All opinions are my and my Mama's own.]

Maidless, with multiples: Why and how we survive without a stay-in helper

We have three boys aged six and below, and people who first meet us usually inquire if we have a stay-in helper to help with the housework, especially when they hear that we are homeschooling the boys. They usually respond in two ways when we tell them we do not have a helper: some would say "wow, that must be tough!", while others would advise us to get a helper, to which I would shrug and smile and lead the conversation elsewhere  :) 

Both hubby and I have not had a live-in helper for all our lives. My mum chose to stay home to take care of me and my brother, so we didn't have a helper growing up. The hubby's parents both worked, but they too did not engage a helper. My mum has been constantly advising me to hire a helper, especially with the arrival of Baby J, since she saw how I was struggling to keep on top of housework and how the house was constantly messy. However thus far, we've only started getting a part-time helper to come in once a week, to help with the deep cleaning. 

Yes, the home is usually in a state of chaos, and there's always bits of cut paper and piles of books everywhere. Yes, sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed at how much housework there is to do. But no, we will not be getting a stay-in helper, at least not for now. Perhaps we might reconsider this if we have another baby, or shift to a bigger place that would be harder to clean, but for now, I think we're ok doing without. 

I think the main reason we aren't getting a helper is that we think we are coping ok. I won't say we're thriving and have a lovely, organized and neat space, I won't say there is no stress when it comes to those piling towers of clean laundry waiting to be folded, and perhaps I might like a little more me time, or time with the kids, instead of having to sweat it out in the kitchen, or clean up and wash stuff. But we're more or less coping. Our home isn't a pig sty, we can find the stuff we need, we have clean dishes and clothes, our meals get to the table more or less on time. I still get to hang out with the kids all day. Our part-time cleaner is a gem, and does a really good job getting the home clean. She even rotates cleaning the fans and windows for us! 

That aside, we've heard so many horror stories of helpers who've given all sorts of headaches to their employers: from not being teachable, to stealing, or bringing their boyfriends home when their employers are out. For now, I don't think I am up to training a new helper, and experienced and reliable helpers are few and far between. Most of these aren't available, because the families they work for aren't going to give them up! While I've seen how helpers can be such an asset to the family, we are pretty private people, and are not comfortable with the idea of having someone stay with us. We also don't have the room to house a helper: the house already feels very cramped with three boys bouncing off the walls, and the study that doubles as a guest room houses the in-laws who frequently visit us from Penang. Finally, I think we'll be pretty hard to work for, since I can be fussy (clothes must be folded a certain way so they sit right in the drawers, etc), and the boys can make such messes!

Anyway, yes, so we are maid-less. Now another frequently asked question we get is, how do we cope? With having three littles, homeschool, no helper, and a hubby who sometimes has to work long hours? Well, here are a few ways:

:: We lower our expectations: We won't have a house that is spick and span, and a floor that is spotless. We don't have a home that is magazine-spread worthy. We do have to spend an hour or two cleaning up before guests come because of the chaos of three toy tornadoes. But we don't need spotless, or magazine-spread worthy. We just need a relatively clean home, that is not dusty (the kids have allergic rhinitis, so dust is an issue), we need clean dishes to eat from, we need regular meals. Those lower expectations, we can meet. 

:: We get the kids to help: The kids are expected to clean up their messes. If they cut a pile of paper on the floor, they have to sweep it up. If they spill their drink, they wipe it up. They need to return their used cups and dishes to the sink, and they help to set the table. The older two also help to fold some of the clothes. All three help to do clean-up time. While most of the time they don't do the job perfectly, them having to help out teaches them that housework is useful, and blesses the people around them. While we usually have to finish the job for them, and sometimes they can be more a hindrance than a help, I find that they get better with age and practice, and things eventually get easier, and neater. Finally, Junior J helps to take care of his younger brothers, and he's pretty good at reading to them and keeping them busy, which allows me a breather and gives me time for a toilet break! 

:: The kids are taught to be independent: Junior J packs his own bag for outings, and also takes his own showers. The older two carry their own bags when we are out, and they help to carry their younger brother's things, so that I don't need to carry both the toddler and a truckload of kid's stuff. The older two are expected to feed themselves at mealtime, and we do not allow them to run about during mealtimes. We sometimes still have to feed Lil J part of his meal, especially when he is not well and doesn't have an appetite, but we don't do the "chase the kid around with the spoon" thing, which makes mealtimes a lot easier to handle. The kids are also used to being left to their own devices, and are good at keeping themselves occupied: they play all sorts of games together, they scribble together on boxes, they build train tracks and tell stories. This allows me time to get housework done, since I don't need to keep them entertained all the time.

:: I get all the help I can: Like I've mentioned, we have a part-time helper that comes once a week, and her hard work ensures that our home is in a relatively clean state. That aside, my parents help to babysit the kids if the hubs and I need to run various errands, and my dad brings the kids to the playground in the evenings so that I can cook dinner in peace. We also rely a lot on our appliances to help make things easier: we have a dishwasher, we use the dryer if necessary, I rely a lot on cooking extra portions and freezing them for quick prep lunches. The Thermomix also helps to make mealtime prep easier some days. (You can read more about how our gadgets make things easier here.) Finally, the hubs chips in with the housework too. He loads the dishwasher and helps with the washing up, and used to do the vacuuming before we hired part-time help.


:: We always try to make things as streamlined as possible: We're always thinking of ways to make things at home work better. For example, the kids now use trays (these are from Ikea) when they are painting, which reduces the amount of cleaning up that I need to do after each session. If we are in a rush, we just put aside the trays when we are done, since the trays technically don't need to be cleaned, and I don't need to spend 15 minutes wiping the table. If the kids are constantly asking us for a certain material, we think of how we can make it easily accessible to them. Right now, we are still decluttering our stuff, so that we can be better organized.

:: I take short-cuts if I can: Most mornings are a mad rush if we are headed out for co-op or outings, since the kids tend to take ages to eat their breakfast, and everyone is moving slowly. Again, I try to make everything as streamlined as I can: I try to pack our stuff before the kids wake, and we eat simple breakfasts that require minimal prep. I usually have to cook Baby J's lunch if we are headed out, so this is how I do it in the shortest time possible: I make his soups and sauces in bulk (usually these are just the same sauces and soups that the rest of the family eats, but I spoon out his portion before I add more salt/herbs), and freeze them in this food tray (this is better than using a ice-cube tray, as the compartments are much bigger). In the mornings, all I have to do is to pop these three stainless steel cups into the electric lunchbox for steaming, one containing the frozen soup/sauce, another containing hot water and his pasta/noodles (the boy isn't fond of porridge and likes textures), and a third containing some finger food (like frozen edamame, corn or peas). I end up with a cooked lunch for the kid after 15 minutes (I take out the pasta/noodles first), without having to stand at the stove! 

:: We keep things simple: Meals are a simple affair, and we don't do the rice with a couple of dishes kind of meals. Usually it's noodles, or pasta, or a one-pot something. Our learning activities are kept simple so that I don't need to spend a lot of time preparing (so if you notice, we hardly do any of those lapbooks or flashcards since those require a fair bit of prep!), and we use curriculum that requires minimal preparation. Keeping things simple saves time, time that is crucial because we are so short of it!

So all in all, I think we're coping ok without a stay-in helper. I'm not saying that not having one makes you better or more capable (after all our house is much messier without one!), and many mums I know are doing really well with a helper to chip in for the chores. But for us now, not having a helper works for our family, and we're good to go without for our current season in life! We hope those tips might come in handy for those who are finding it tough going without help (you can also read our SAHM survival tips here), it's tough, but it does get easier!

Science: On learning and scoring (An interview with Jayce Or)

A few months back, I attended a Primary Math and Science seminar for homeschoolers, conducted by Jayce Or, a fellow homeschooling parent. The seminar helped me to get a better understanding of how Math and Science was taught and tested at the Primary level. While we hope to homeschool through the Primary years, our kids still have to sit for the PSLE, so getting a better understanding of how these subjects were taught and tested was useful. 

Our recent post about the issues of Primary Science education generated a fair bit of debate and feedback, so I thought it would be great to follow up with some posts to guide parents into helping their kids with regards to learning Science. So to start us off, I thought having a chat with Jayce would be ideal, since he is in a pretty good position to advise (you'll understand why, after you read his introduction!). 

~~~~~~~

Hi Jayce! Thanks for agreeing to share on the blog. For starters, please tell us more about yourself.

I'm Jayce, a teacher and curriculum developer at Mind Stretcher Learning Centre. I just came back from my further studies (Master of Education) at University of Melbourne, Australia. Previously, I was teaching in two primary schools for about eight years. I have always been heavily involved in the school’s science department, especially in the setting and marking of exam papers, and teaching science in practical ways. I was the teacher-in-charge of one of the school’s Science Club and the other school’s Environment Club. I am also a father of four beautiful children, aged 3, 6, 9 and 11 years. My wife and I started home-schooling our kids since 2014, and we are still learning to teach them.  

What do you think are the key problems that contribute to students not faring well for Science?

There are two levels of problems that students face in the subject of Science. Students whose grades generally fall below 40 have weaknesses in the main concepts of the topics that they have learnt, and need to gain a stronger understanding of the key components required in order to improve. The next level of problems that students face are what most parents and even teachers find more difficult to overcome. This has to do with bridging the gap between knowing the scientific concepts, and applying what students know to answer exam questions. 

How would you suggest students approach the learning of Science? Should they use any tips or techniques when studying Science? 

My suggestion towards the learning of science is always to develop the love for science first. Getting kids to see, feel, smell, touch, hear and even taste begins a process of exploration for them to delve deeper into the details of what they are learning. One of the ways that many schools use to help students in learning science is to get them to draw the concept maps of the various topics to give a clearer picture of the main concepts they are required to know.  (Side point: Reading about Science can help too. Click here for a list of great reads on Science and nature!)

Could the questions that occur in a Science paper be sorted into categories requiring different skills? What are the skills required, and are there any points to note on how to approach these different kinds of questions?

A typical Science paper (including PSLE) will comprise of a complete set of questions to assess the concepts and skills required for a student who has been taught through the entire science syllabus. The skill set is listed in the MOE Science Syllabus 2015 and they are as follows: Observing, Comparing, Classifying, Using apparatus and equipment, Communicating, Inferring, Formulating hypothesis, Predicting, Analysing, Generating possibilities and Evaluating. (Side note: You can download a copy of the latest Primary Science syllabus here.)

Questions tested would include a combination of a few of these skills, in order to ensure that students have understood the fundamentals of science and know how to apply it. Approaching these questions would mean that the students have to be clear what types of questions are assessing on which skills. If not, the situation would become likely that the student could end up ‘using a hammer on a thumbtack’.

Is memorization of key words the only way to go, and how can we help students to identify key words in a topic? Do you think tuition classes or enrichment might help in this aspect?

Memorising of key words is not all there is to learning science. The crucial thing is still to understand the concepts, and apply it correctly to the question asked. Tuition classes or enrichment may help to a certain extent. Most of the time, they give more exposure to different questions with the intention to reinforce answering skills and techniques. I am currently planning a parents’ workshop on Science in September, to help parents to guide their kids in the answering of science questions. 

Source: Marshall Cavendish

Are there any good guidebooks/assessments you would recommend? 

If I had one book to recommend, it would be the Science PSLE Revision Guide by Marshall Cavendish (the orange book). The content of the science textbooks from P3 to P6 is contained in one book instead  of being spread across four to eight textbooks, and the key concepts are always in bold for easier reference. Studying the main concepts from this book would be sufficient to cover all the topics for PSLE. 

~~~~~~~

Thank you so much, Jayce, for taking the time to share with us! Those tips were certainly helpful. 

We do need to focus on cultivating a love for Science in our kids, and then help them to grasp key concepts and attain the various skills required. There is also the need to guide them into learning how to identify the skills and concepts required in questions, so that they can bridge the gap between understanding the concepts and applying their knowledge. We hope to chat further with Jayce, so if you do have any questions on learning Science, please leave a comment!

10 tips on living with food allergies

Egg-free doesn't mean boring: Our hermit crab dinner of minced pork,
rice, beans, carrots and cauliflower. 

Lil J has food allergies. He used to throw up after we fed him egg yolk when he was a baby, and he had pretty bad eczema. There was a period of time where he didn't gain weight for a couple of months, and we went half crazy trying to figure out what was wrong. We tried systematically eliminating foods from his diet, kept a food log, and continued monitoring. We went gluten-free, egg-free, dairy free… it became quite a headache to cook for the kid! Finally we consulted a PD (we were overseas then), and was given the wrong diagnosis that the boy was allergic to both milk and egg. The poor kid was given hydrolyzed formula, which he refused to drink (it smelled and tasted really strange, to be honest), and we totally took him off dairy products. 

After moving back to Singapore, we decided to get a second opinion. Some mothers recommended Dr Lee Bee Wah, an allergist over at Mount Elizabeth, and she ran the skin prick test for Lil J for common allergens (milk, soy, nuts, egg). It turned out the first diagnosis was wrong: Lil J was not allergic to dairy! (Hooray for ice-cream and cheese!) The test did confirm an egg allergy though. 

Now that he's three and a half, Lil J still has not outgrown the egg allergy. There have been instances where he's mistakenly eaten food that contained egg (usually when we are eating out, more of that in another post), after which he starts to rash all over and his eyes start to swell. There was one time when he grabbed the egg off hubby's breakfast plate when we were overseas and took a bite (this boy loves trying everything off our plates, which really gives me a heart attack because of the allergies!). Later his eyes puffed up so bad he could could barely see out of them, and the symptoms only subsided after a dose of Zyrtec. 

We also discovered along the way that the kid is also allergic to prawns. He tried prawns previously when we were up in Penang to escape the haze, and started rashing all over, and again, only a dose of antihistamine helped to relieve his symptoms. He also reacts upon eating similar foods like prawn mantis. 

Now Baby J seems to be showing signs of having food allergies too (he has been rashing up after certain meals, but it isn't an egg allergy since our meals are egg-free), so it's going to be another round of pin-pointing the culprit(s). 

So here's what we've learnt the past few years on bringing up kids with food allergies:

1. Don't mix up food allergies and food intolerances. 

Food allergies occur because the person's immune system reacts against certain chemicals in food, and these chemicals tend to be proteins. They are different from food intolerances, which are non-immune reactions (for example, lactose intolerance is different from a milk protein allergy). The treatments and approaches would be different.

2. If you suspect a food allergy, try eliminating the suspected food. A food log might help.

If you suspect your child has a food allergy (he has rashes, has trouble breathing, or starts wheezing after certain meals, or he has eczema), eliminating the suspected food that causes the allergy would be the easiest (and cheapest way) to manage the allergy. Trying to pinpoint the cause can be tricky though, since meals can have many ingredients (and if you eat out, you may not know the entire list of ingredients). A food log in this case can be helpful (though somewhat troublesome to keep), since you can look back at all the things your child has consumed and pinpoint what foods might be triggering off the reaction. 

3. If the food log isn't helpful, getting tested might give you answers. But please see an allergist if possible. 

We were really going crazy trying to figure out Lil J's allergies, and the initial wrong diagnosis made it even harder for us to prepare his meals. One tricky thing about pin-pointing allergies in young children is that many of them are still breast-feeding, which means the mother's diet also affects the child (so you might have to keep a food log for yourself too!). I found that having the skin prick test and consultation with Dr Lee really cleared our doubts: I could fatten the boy up on yoghurt and cheese, and now we were very sure that the kid had to stay clear of eggs. 

4. Focus on what your child CAN eat. Not what he cannot. 

Initially after we confirmed the egg allergy, I felt a huge sense of relief knowing what we were dealing with. However, that was followed with weeks of feeling frustrated that I couldn't prepare meals that had egg, since eggs were quite a staple in our meals. Junior J used to be a really picky eater, and eggs were the easiest form of protein to get into him (he took ages to chew meat!). Also, I was making bentos for him, and eggs (with their cheery yellow colour) tend to be an staple in these. 

However, I realized that harping on the whole "it's so hard to live with allergies" thing didn't help, and there were so many other things that Lil J could eat! For example, we would use cheese in bentos for protein and to add that pop of yellow colour, and sometimes, I would do an extra dish separately for the rest of us that contained egg. Having to prepare two different meals felt troublesome, but I figured my way around that later. 

Also, don't apologize to your child that he cannot have this or that. We've had grandparents tell the kid they are sorry that he can't eat this dish or that cake, which tends to brings his focus to what he can't have (and usually makes him feel worse), rather than what he CAN have. Got a party to attend, and the kid can't eat cake? Bring a special treat for him to eat (Those chocolate surprise eggs are great if your child can have dairy).

5. Your child might still be able to have food that he normally cannot eat. You just have to figure it out. 

One difficulty of having an egg allergy is that many sweet treats that children like contain eggs. Most cakes and cookies usually contain egg, and certain brands of ice-cream contain egg. We managed to find places or bakers that made egg-free cakes, however, recently I decided to make my own, since that really helped us to save (click here for our tried and tested recipe for a very yummy eggless, no-bake chocolate cheesecake). We also found places that served egg-free ice-cream (eg. Baskin Robbins and Udders), and we now also make eggless pancakes for breakfast. If you bake, you can replace the egg with alternatives (click here for a very useful list).

It wasn't so hard for the prawn allergy. However, there were certain foods (other than prawns itself) the boy had to stay away from: Penang laksa, because belacan and hae gor (prawn paste) were used, and various soups that cooked prawn shells as a base. We learnt to cook our own laksa (and omitted the belacan and hae gor), and figured how to make Italian seafood soup without the prawns (we use this recipe, but omit the shrimp and increase the amount of squid used). 

6. You must read labels. 

We've learnt that eggs can be sneaky: they turn up in all sorts of foods. Homemade marshmallows typically contain egg (but the cheaper, store-bought types don't), and some pastas don't contain egg as an ingredient but may contain traces of egg (because of cross contamination in factories that manufacture multiple food products. This also applies for nuts.). Many white sauces and dressings (eg. mayonnaise and tartar sauce) contain egg. Meatballs from Ikea contain egg too! Reading labels always help to clear up doubts, and over time you get the hang of what foods your child can or cannot have. 

7. Train your kid to always ask before eating.

After a few scares, Lil J has learnt to always check with us before trying new dishes or foods offered by others. This boy is a foodie, and loves trying new stuff. He used to like to grab stuff off our plates to try, but has learnt (the hard way unfortunately) that he needs to check if the meal has something he cannot eat. 

8. Friends and family must be educated too. 

Once Lil J was wandering around the playground during a co-op session, and asked another mother if he could try the food she was feeding her son. It turned out to be fried rice, which was fried with egg. Thankfully the mum had the foresight to ask if it was ok to let him try it! (Which is why point 7 is really important if your child is old enough.) 

The thing is, most kids don't have allergies, and sometimes friends don't really think twice about offering children ice-cream or cake with good intentions. If your child has an allergy, please let your friends know, and keep a watchful eye on your kids, especially on play-dates if your kids would sit together for a meal. I've had cases where kids would offer their food to Lil J, or Lil J would ask to try their food, so it's safer to watch out!

Also, I find that relatives too may not be clear about what foods are ok to offer. I've had relatives try to feed Lil J store bought chocolate cake, saying that it's just chocolate, and that it's just a taste. (Grandparents in general are known to feed yummies to their grandkids without their parents approval, right?) In most cases, I've resorted to exaggeration, because in many cases explaining to them just doesn't seem to work. I tell them they can kill him if they feed him stuff without checking with us (which is the case for kids who have anaphylactic reactions to their allergies). 

9. I've said this before, but I'll say it again: your freezer is your best friend.

If your child has allergies, then chances are you might have to cook meals for him when you are eating out. It's a lot easier if you freeze extra portions of meals that you are already having at home: pasta sauces, soups, sandwich fillings like pulled pork etc. This way, you just need to defrost his meal and steam it up before heading out. Eating out with food allergies has it's challenges, so I'll be writing a separate post on that soon. 

Also, if you have children who don't have the same allergies, freezing food means that you can serve the forbidden food to the other family members, with little chances of cross-contamination. I usually prepare muffin tin frittatas (our recipe here) over the weekend, and freeze these for Junior J to put in his lunchbox when we are out. I heat them up in the toaster, and don't have to worry about contaminating Lil J's meal. 

Junior J's lunch, with a muffin tin frittata.
Lil J gets the same, but without the frittata. 

10. Always carry your meds with you.

We've learnt this the hard way: we've had to scramble to buy Zyrtec a few times before when Lil J develops an allergic reaction when eating out. Please carry antihistamines (or the epipen if necessary) if you decide to eat out and your child has food allergies. This is even more so if the allergies are severe (but I'm sure parents of kids with severe allergies would already know that), or if you are traveling, since you may not have easy access to a pharmacy! 

~~~~~~~

I've found that once you get used to it, living with food allergies isn't that difficult. However, this is in our case where the allergies are limited to two food types, and the reactions are not severe. I'll share more about things to note when eating out, as well as some resources I've found useful in future post. Meanwhile, for those with kids who have allergies… do share your tips if you can, and do read this post and this post for more information on food allergies. 

PS: Like I've mentioned, Lil J's allergies are not severe. For those with children with serious food allergies, our tips still apply, but please take any advice with caution. 

Travel with kids: What to pack

Our family is quite used to travelling. The hubs is Malaysian, so we are used to making trips back to visit his family. During our stint in Europe, we explored 11 countries with two kids in tow. Then, Junior J was three, while Lil J was just a baby, and I have fond memories of our trips: Baby J eating baguette every day in France, me sitting in front of some masterpiece while surreptitiously nursing a baby in a museum, the boys having fun exploring castles and nature and zoos. You could say we love travelling, and in general the older two boys are pretty good travellers (Baby J is a different story, but I think he just needs time).

Given that we've done so many overseas trips, you would expect that I am a seasoned and fast packer. Unfortunately, I am not, and I still take ages to pack, and have a tendency to overpack. (The hubs tells me that packing is easy, and all that is needed is for me to choose the clothes and toss everything in. Which usually gets me very upset, and makes me harbour the thought of NOT packing his socks.) That aside though, I thought I'd share some packing tips that have worked for us thus far:

:: Food-related stuff: If you have a weaning baby with you, or want to cook for your kid(s), try booking apartments with a kitchen so that meal prep is easier. If not, bring along an electric lunchbox. It works like a mini steamer, and usually comes with two bowls that fit inside so that you can actually cook two things at the same time (eg. pasta and pasta sauce, or porridge and veggies). Remember to bring along a universal adaptor just in case the place uses a different plug! We usually pack a small chopping board, a knife, a peeler, baby spoons and Sporks (for the adults). 

Our electric lunchbox. We usually carry our baby spoons in a cutlery holder from Daiso.
The Sporks are very useful, especially if you need to eat instant noodles! ;)

We use silicon bibs, which are way easier to clean compared to cloth bibs. These just need you to wash with soapy water, or if you are in a rush, you can just wipe them clean with a wet wipe. Much easier compared to having to wash cloth bibs!

If your trip is short, or you do not have time to look for a supermarket, bring some easy to cook food for the kids: pasta, oatmeal, canned tomatoes and tuna. If you're travelling in Europe though, do note that jarred baby food is common and pretty cheap, which might be an option to consider if you're headed there! That aside, don't forget snacks for the kids too: raisins, dried fruit, nuts, cereal and biscuits are some of the easier things to bring along. And a nursing cover if you are still nursing.

:: Clothes: I admit I like to dress the boys up to be matchy matchy. So when packing, I usually try to pack similar coloured tops and bottoms for them, and fold all three tops together so that I can pull them out together when changing all of them. This has a few advantages: the kids look co-ordinated in photos, they are easier to spot in a crowd, and it's also easier to remember what the kids are wearing if they get lost (touch wood!). It's easy for me to match their clothes, since we usually go for simple designs like stripes or plain coloured tees. 

If you can, pack darker-coloured clothes, unless you are travelling to some where very hot. This way, you don't need to worry so much about the kids getting dirty (which will happen anyway!) and the grime and stains showing up. White tops are quite a nightmare, especially during meals (think messy kid dribbling pasta sauce down his white tee during lunch!). Light-coloured bottoms are even worse (especially if you have boys who think rolling on the floor or splashing in puddles are the world's best form of entertainment!) Chances are, you won't have the time to rinse those stains out at night, and you won't want to be lugging half-damp clothes around anyway!

Pick neutral-coloured bottoms that can easily match with most of the tops that you bring along for the kids. Pockets are great, for holding that random sea shell or pebble.

If you're travelling to somewhere cold, do check the weather forecast and bring a jacket to match. While you'll probably be layering alot (for babies, do the tights plus onesie for the base layer so that baby's tummy doesn't get exposed), in most cases you'll be going in and out of buildings as you travel, so having to take off just one layer (the jacket) beats having to peel off two or three thinner layers off your kid. Jackets with hoods are useful, since the hood can help in drizzles and windy conditions. 

:: In case of emergency: For the case of kids with food allergies and other allergies, please bring along anti-histamines. Lil J has an egg and prawn allergy, and having anti-histamines at hand really really helped. In many instances, eateries may not be sure about allergens and may advise wrongly, so it is always good to have meds on standby. Once, we had a case where Lil J's eye started puffing up, and he started rashing, and we didn't have any meds at hand, so the hubs had to dash out to the pharmacy. That was a lesson learnt for us! When it comes to bringing meds, try rolling a diaper around each bottle, so that the diaper absorbs the leaks if there are any.

Always have plastic bags with you. Or if you are flying, take those air-sickness bags with you. These bags are great for various emergencies: for pee when there is no toilet in sight, for puke especially if your kid gets motion sickness (especially if you head out to sea or drive up a windy mountain road), for soiled clothes. Or even pine-cone or sea shell picking should the occasion call for it!

:: Entertainment: We usually pack some books (along with their book of Bible stories for bedtime reading), their sketch books, crayons and stickers, plus audio-books if we plan on travelling around by car. The audio-books are really useful for keeping the kids occupied on long car rides (we like this, this and this)!

:: Others: The baby carrier is a must for us, especially now that it is essential that we have our hands-free to care for the older two. The carrier is also great for long plane rides when you have to bring baby for walks, and for everything else! We usually bring along the pram if we intend to go out in the afternoons and will need the younger kids to sleep on the go. We also bring our clip-on high chair for certain trips (something like this one), when we know that it'll be hard for us to get high-chairs. (We used to bring a Sack-n-seat, but the two younger ones proved to be too wriggly to stay in there!)

All in all, I've learnt not to fret too much about the packing, because if I forget something, we usually can make do without, or buy it while travelling. What are your packing tips for an overseas trip?

PS: The clothes pictured in this post were kindly sponsored by FOX. I particularly like their fleece jackets, which are so soft and comfortable! 

SAHM Survival: 10 things to remember

I get this question very frequently: "So how do you cope? With 3 kids and homeschooling and no maid?" I have no tried and tested answer for this question. Staying home with little children is extremely rewarding: you get to be the first person to witness all the milestones, you get the sense of satisfaction seeing them grow up, and relish the sense of control over your household. However, it is also a crazy and tiring "job", where you are "working" 24/7, you don't get sick leave, and you basically juggle many roles while not getting paid in monetary terms.

When I first became a stay-home mum, I couldn't cook to save my life (ok, I could do some edible pasta and instant noodles, but that was it), I was a disorganized housekeeper, and I simply had no idea what I was going to do with the baby the whole day. It's been more than five years since I made that decision to stay home, and I'm still a work in progress. However, here are ten lessons I've learnt:

Staying Sane

1. You need to manage your expectations. 
There will be tough days, and there would be tough weeks or even tough months. There will be times of terrible twos and seemingly non-stop tantrums, weeks when they keep falling sick, days where all you want to do is lock yourself in the toilet and scroll through FB updates and ignore all the "mama! mama!"s that you've been having. I used to always get down in the dumps, and think of how difficult it was. Then I realized there will always be tough times, but I have to learn to be happy in the NOW, rather than spend my time wishing that things were better. (See some tips on how to be a happy SAHM here.) On days that are tough, just concentrate on doing the next thing.

With kids, mess is inevitable. Clean it up, get them to help, and don't let it get to you!

2. Do what you love, and play to your strengths.
You may be a bookworm, or you may be sporty. You may love to craft, or take walks in the park. Do those things you enjoy, and include the kids in it. Bake muffins, if you're the baking type. Go out on adventures if you're the outdoors type. I love to craft and read, so we do lots of that at home, and I get to enjoy it too.

Venture into social media, Pinterest, and blogs with caution. You may want to surf for inspiration, but don't compare: one mum may make lovely bentos, another may sew lovely clothes for her kids, but if arranging grapes and making rice to look like bunnies is not your thing, or you are the type that can't sew a seam to save your life, don't bother and don't feel guilty about it! We are human beings and not human doings, and the kids love you as who you are, and not what you do. (And anytime you need to feel better, take a look at how pins can go so so wrong.)


3. Use your gadgets.
There are many many gadgets and machines available these days to help ease your housework load. Washing machines and fridges are the norm these days (see here for a great guide on how to properly wash and store produce). If its the rainy season, or you have a neighbour that likes to put dripping laundry out to dry on your almost dry clothes, use a dryer. (Here's some things NOT to do when it comes to laundry.) Get an iRobot to clean your floors if you do not seem to have the time to do so (we do not have one, but many mums swear by it).

Consider getting a food processor or even a Thermomix, if you find that you spend a lot of time in the kitchen. The Thermomix is an all in one gadget that blends, weighs, cooks and stirs in the same pot, and the temperature and blending speeds can be adjusted. This means you can make French onion soup by pressing a couple of buttons and adding ingredients, no tears needed as you don't need to chop onions! The possibilities are endless: soups, bread, porridge, chocolate fondue, pasta sauces, pestos, nut butters, ice-cream... If you're interested, try getting this in Europe when you or your friends travel. In Germany it costs almost half the retail price in Singapore.

If you are going to renovate your kitchen or are moving to another place, install a dishwasher if you can. (A side note: We used to think dishwashers didn't wash cleanly, and we thought it was expensive to use one. We changed our minds after we were forced to use one in Germany, as the hard water made our hands itch, rash and peel. Dishwashers actually help you to save water, and do a great job in cleaning (and even sanitizing) your dishes. You can buy the dishwashing tablets off Amazon and save alot!)


Cooking doesn't have to be hard

4. Preparing and planning before hand makes the day easier
It's best to have a menu plan before you do your grocery shopping (see here for some tips on grocery shopping!). I used to struggle with menu-planning: it took a lot of time and I had no idea what I wanted to cook. These days I key in my meals into my calendar: this way I can take a look at my schedule in the morning, and know what I need to prepare, marinate and defrost, plus I know when I should start cooking (eg. stews and soups need to be cooked earlier in the day to allow for time to simmer, while stuff like veggies should be cooked just before dinner so that they can be served warm.). Meal planning is starting to be fun since I go by my cravings: if I feel like eating Korean, I start hunting for recipes to cook for the week ahead, and I can look forward to my meals. Planning also means I don't buy unnecessary groceries, which really helps to cut down on food wastage.

I also like to prepare our breakfasts the night before, since I cannot seem to wake up early. Overnight oats have been a hit and is a breakfast staple. If we are having pancakes, I mix up the dry ingredients the night before, so that all Junior J has to do is to measure out the liquid ingredients before mixing. (Hop over here for more tips and short-cuts for cooking.)


5. Your freezer is your best friend in the kitchen
When making pasta sauces, stews and soups, try planning for, and cooking a double portion instead, and freeze one portion. This way, you save on gas, and you get back-up meals which you don't have to spend time preparing on busy or sick days. Most of our lunches tend to be frozen meals, so that I can spend more time with the boys in the morning. I also freeze mini frittatas, meatballs and stock which I make on weekends. Remember to label your containers or bags, since sauces and stews tend to all look the same after they are frozen!

Labelling makes life simple: Just use a marker and washi tape!

Leftover cream, tomato sauce, wine and herbs (try chopping and freezing these in an ice-cube tray with olive oil) can be frozen too, to reduce the chance of it not being used and going to waste. We have a bag in the freezer filled with all the leftover bits of veggies: carrot tops, chunks of celery etc. After the bag gets filled, it gets dumped into a pot of water and voila! vegetable stock for free! (Here's a great guide to freezing produce.)


Loving your kids and not losing your temper (and mind)

6. Let your kids be bored
Your children need to be loved, and they do need your time and attention. But they do not need to be "entertained". Sometimes I find we feel the need to fill up their time with activities, and I admit there are days where I resort to an episode of Berenstain Bears to stop them from fighting while I am trying to rush dinner prep. However, I realize most of their best play times are when they are not given anything to do at all: they pretend they are riding a bus to outer space, they play school, they go fishing and prepare picnics. Sometimes they read or flip through books, or build things. (And if the kids complain they are bored and have nothing to do, give them chores. :p)

They were playing school, and set up their own classroom. They even packed lunch boxes and had recess!

7. It takes a village to raise a child
These days, parents have a lot less support when it comes to raising children. Get all the help you can: involve the grandparents, the neighbours, and even your friends. I admit it's sometimes not easy when it comes to relatives, since grandparents tend to be more lax in terms of discipline, but you can't do it alone. We have been so blessed because my mum previously used to pop by to help me with the kids on certain days, and my dad has been coming by to play with the boys so that I can spend time settling the baby or cooking. All this really helps to prevent things from becoming overwhelming!

8. Have rules and enforce them
Children need boundaries and they need rules. Have certain rules and be sure to enforce them. Some of these would really make life easier. For example, we make it a point to have all meals at the table, and the three main meals are for us to gather as a family to eat and talk, with no distractions from the TV or devices. Lil J does tend to wander and leave the table at times, being the restless toddler that he is, but he generally understands this rule and stays seated for most of the meal. This means less mess, since there would not be dropped food at other areas of the house, we don't need to chase him around the house to feed him, and we get family bonding over meal time. However, do pick your battles: it is not worth fighting with your toddler about certain things, like wearing clashing colours!


9. Everyone has an opinion, but you know your child best
You'll probably find that everyone, including friends without kids and strangers, would have some opinion about how you should raise your child, and might not hesitate to share their view with you, from how your baby might be squashed in the carrier, to how you discipline your child. Smile, acknowledge their concerns, but remember that you know your children best and try not to let any criticism get to you.

This goes for all the parenting books you read. What works for one child does not necessarily work for another. We managed to sleep train Junior J gradually, however the same method did not work for Lil J, and after awhile we realized that we might break his spirit if we continued trying to sleep train him. We were told about how the boys needed to learn to sleep on their own, but we decided to trust our gut instinct instead.


Shop smart and save

10. You can save a fair bit of money even though you are not bringing home an income
With a single income, we do try to be more frugal when it comes to our spending. We cook/prepare almost all our meals, which really helps us to save, as we realized eating out contributed significantly to our expenditure previously.

I tend to shop online for most household items, as well as books, learning materials, and clothes for the kids. Amazon has been great for books and learning materials (since they now provided free global shipping for purchases above $125 USD), and we also purchase other household goods like hand soap and mason jars there. iHerb has been great for certain baking items (like chocolate, cocoa and vanilla extract), as well as for vitamins and pharmaceutical products!

We also like to buy preloved items, from various FB destash pages, as well as during flea markets (the SAS White Elephant fair is great for books and kid's stuff!) and second-hand bookstores (Evernew bookstore is great for picking up popular books like the Magic School Bus series, Peter and Jane as well as Berenstain bears).

You probably won't need to spend money exercising, since you get to do lots of heavy lifting everyday (the kids, the groceries, the laundry poles), and you'll spend plenty of time and energy chasing the kids. But if you need the gym or pool, get an ActiveSG membership, since that gives you loads of benefits plus $100 to use!

Don't stress: smile and enjoy the journey!

All in all, if you do get to stay home, enjoy the journey. It's one decision I don't regret making at all!

~~~~~~~

This post is part of a blog train hosted by Gingerbreadmum, where 31 stay-at-home mums share their tips and tricks.
Hop over to the rest of the posts by clicking on the button below, and be inspired! 

~~~~~~~

Tomorrow, Lynn would be sharing her tips over at her blog, Raising Faith. Lynn decided to be a stay-at-home mum when her daughter Faith was born. She loves to spend time with her 18 month old kid, and does baking and cake decorating to maintain her sanity. (You should see the cakes she makes. Amazing!)