Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Life transformation

In July, blogging mothers from Singapore shared their stories on how being a mother has changed them (read their stories here).  This month, we will be hearing more from them about their journeys through motherhood.

Today's post is by Wendy.  She is a full time working mom of two, a three year old son and a seven month old daughter.  She started blogging in 2007 after being inspired by another fellow mom blogger, Sandra.  Her blog is about her journey as an individual, a mommy, and a wife. 


Thanks to Jus, I think I have not really put into words how being a mother has changed me. It is something so close to my heart, yet it is another matter to pen it down.

Whenever I look at my kids, I wonder how did I get them in the first place? How did I get promoted to being a mother? I seem to have suffered amnesia for the whole pregnancy process. Well, that is so not true! I remember every single detail of both pregnancies! Like the super long labor of 18 hours for my son, and the heartache for my daughter. As a mother of two now, I feel that I went through a “life transformation”. In what ways? 

First of all, I want to lament... I want to lament that hubby and I have stopped traveling and being carefree since the kids arrived. Most of the time, if not all the time, the plans revolve around the kids. We always try our utmost best for them. I miss traveling with and dating my hubby. I miss being a shopaholic, chilling out with friends and not have to put the kids to bed. Of course I miss my once upon a time, slim figure which now after 2 kids is totally in ruins. I am seriously unsure if I can ever get that slim figure back. Besides all these superficial and self indulgent desires, is there one thing I won’t do again to be a mother? The answer is No. I thank God everyday for giving me these 2 beautiful children. I am blessed to have a boy and a girl. 

Before the kids arrived, it was just about hubby and I. We were carefree in every sense. When we were promoted to parenthood with Eljasz’s arrival, we had to learn to balance work, family, being a couple, how to take care of Eljasz and new budgeting for the new family member. We had to learn about everything and everything was new to me. I made new parents friends, listened to their advice and how to manage my new baby.

As a mother, I got to:
1) Increase in capacity – it is no longer thinking as a couple but as a family unit. I need to increase the love in my heart to love one more darling; which is not hard when you look at their faces.
2) Have a big heart – as the kids grow up, their mishaps and cheekiness increases. I cannot be a petty human being, and rant like a mad woman towards them. I have to learn to love them again and again despite all their silly mistakes. I learn to be a more forgiving and patient person. In order to see them grow up, I have to pace my sanity along with them.
3) Be gracious in my speech and manner – in view of this year, it has been rather eventful since the arrival of our princess. It has been very challenging with many ordeals. Through all of that, I learn to be more empathetic towards people; making a conscious effort to always give everyone the benefit of doubt in every situation. I guess everyone has a story to tell, and who am I to judge? I have to show mercy and grace to others, so that my kids will pick up the right vibes and values from me. Our kids don’t practice what we teach, but they practice what they see us do or say.
Overall, being a mother has transformed me to be a better person. I've learnt to love and care more for the people around me.

For my kids:
I have no regrets to have waited 9 months before I get to see you.
You have been my joy and my pride.
I am willing to lay down my life so that you can live your dreams.
I would run through the valleys and conquer the mountains with you.
All you have to do is to call me and I will be there for you.
You will never grow up in my eyes; and are always the treasure in my heart.
I thank God everyday that He has given me both of you.
How blessed are we!
He has sent you as angels in disguise.
When mommy and daddy are no longer the same or as healthy as we ought to be, please remember that we will always love you no matter what difficult decisions you need to make.
We count it a privilege to be your parents in this lifetime.

Hubby aka Darling, thank you for being my hero and my pillar when things were so tough.
We have made it!
Through it all, you are still the most important person in my life; beside God and the kids.
I am still looking forward to grow old with you.
I love you always,
Mommy / Wifey

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