Thankful Tuesdays: The thing about boys

These days, our conversations with strangers or acquaintances usually run along the line of a few commonly asked questions, in this order:

1. You have three kids?

2. Is your baby a girl? (For some reason, all three of our boys are usually mistaken as girls when they were babies. And of course, we do correct them.)

3. Oh, you have THREE BOYS? (This is usually followed by a moment of silent horror.)

4. Wow, how do you cope? or many a time "So are you going to try for a girl?"

Yes, I get it, daughters are lovely to have. Everyone extols to us the benefits of little girls: they are conscientious, they are affectionate, they show care and concern, the older ones take care of their siblings very well. Mummies get to have lots of fun dressing their little girls up, they get to dress matchy-matchy with them. You get to scrap in pink and pastels, and can stick on a million and one Prima flowers on your layout featuring your daughter, and it would be just perfect. 

But we have boys. Three of them. So we are well-versed in the challenges of boyhood, which have been featured in many a blog post by witty mamas (for example, this one). Boys are fascinated by gross things and are delighted with loud farts and burps. They stick their boogers on the wall and think its perfectly fine. You are always wiping or washing or putting down toilet seats if you live with them. They are rowdy, they can't sit still, they are always getting into one scrape or another. Their idea of fun is jumping off the bunk bed or destroying something, basically anything that gives mama a heart attack. So yes, boys can be challenging, in ways that girls are not. 

But can I just say this? Boys and girls are wired differently, and while we lament about our boys fidgeting and struggling with sitting still during lessons, they have their good points too. Here's a few things we love about them:

:: That beautiful juxtaposition of tough and tender: Boys can be incredibly sweet, and it makes it all the sweeter when thoughtful gestures come from these little men who are pretty rough around the edges. Mamas to little boys, you should know how wonderfully snuggly boys can be, and how much they need hugs and kisses when they are little. Adolescence does bring about raging hormones, but some fragment of that sweetness does remain: I remember how thoughtful some of my ex-students (who were fifteen or sixteen year olds that towered over me even when I was in heels) could be, helping me to carry things, and writing cards for Teachers' Day.

:: They have a special place for Mama in their hearts: Words can't really describe this, but I think boys have this special relationship with their mothers. It's just like that father-daughter relationship. 

:: Handling emotions and relationships becomes more straightforward: Boys may face difficulties controlling their emotions. However, things are usually simpler for them, as they tend to take things at face-value, and say things as they are. Girls are a little more complicated.

:: All that incredible amount of energy can be channeled for good: They are usually bouncing off the walls, but if directed towards their talents or interests, boys can harness their energy in creative and productive ways. They can use their strength to work, to build, to conquer.

:: They are usually blessed with analytical minds: I love how they think, how they are obsessed with construction and destruction, I love how they try to solve problems, and how they like numbers and maps and tools. 

:: You get to save money on clothes and wardrobe space, and save on dressing up time: Girls have all manner of clothes. Then there are the accessories. And the shoes. And those matching tights. And.. the list goes on. Boys? It's either shorts, or pants. And T-shirts, singlets, or shirts. Dressing them is pretty easy (unless you have a toddler in his "I must wear my rattiest T-shirt to church" mood), so usually that means getting them out of the house is a slightly faster affair. And footwear? Just a pair of shoes and pair of sandals for each, which leaves more room in the shoe cupboard for Mama's!

:: Diaper-changing and toilet training is a lot easier: My mum always remarked that it was much easier to change baby boys, and it is true, once you learn how to block projectile pee! And if the boys are out and about in nature, and there is no toilet for miles, a bush or a plastic bag would easily do the job. 

So please, if you ever meet us and our three very noisy boys... don't give us a look of pity. Yes, we can sound a little like a circus on the loose, but life with boys is also filled with lots of joy. I thank God for blessing us with these three very different boys!

P/S: So back to the question everyone asks: will we be trying for a girl? I'd say we're open to #4 in the future, and we will be thankful if God blesses us, be it a girl or a boy!

PP/S: A disclaimer before I get any hate mail from mothers of girls: This post was not meant to put down girls, or suggest that they are any less than boys. Boys and girls are just different, and have their strengths and weaknesses. I am just writing this simply because I feel that while we are quick to extol the great points of having girls, we tend to poke fun at the boys for being who they are.

PPP/S: Ok, I'm being long-winded today. But if you've enjoyed reading our posts, we'd love for you to cast a vote for Mum in the Making for the Singapore Blog Awards, under the Family Blog category. You can vote here. Thanks very much!

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