Thursday, February 24, 2011

Thinking Thursdays: Discipline in the family

With Junior J hitting the terrible twos, tantrums have been more frequent.  His ability to "bargain" has been getting better too: "Last time, mama?", "Please mama, 5 minutes?", followed by an innocent doe-eyed look.  While we've been trying to be as firm as we could with the little boy, it has been rather tricky balancing discipline and being affectionate at the same time.  So when our church held a talk on discipline last Saturday, both hubby and myself gladly turned up for it!

I thought I'd quickly share some of the points we took home from the talk, especially as a reminder for ourselves.  Also knowing how messy we are, we would probably lose the notes taken at the talk pretty soon!

So here goes:

1. The number one thing I remembered was "to let your yes be yes and your no be no".  And to be firm about what you say, as children do take the cue from us and know if we mean business.  5 minutes is 5 minutes, and we should avoid empty threats like "we're going to sell you to the karang guni", or "we going off now, bye" (followed by pretending to walk away, which we are guilty of doing sometimes at the shopping centre when Junior J refuses to leave because he wants to play with the mentos vending machine!)

2.  To be able to differentiate between wilful disobedience and childish irresponsibility.  Sometimes as children they might need help/games/prodding to finish tasks. :)

3. To be consistent for every child in the family and to avoid showing favouritism.  

4. And good disciplines to adopt in the family (for more concrete examples, do read this blog)
- Being affectionate: Through compliments, courteous words (I'm sorry, its all right, thank you) and signs of affection.
- Creating memories: Celebrating anniversaries and birthdays, telling stories
- Dependence on God: Through praying as a family and for your children and praying for others (and updating your children about any answered prayers).
- Devotion: Pointing our children to God by reading God's Word and Bible stories, and making church attendance a non-negiotiable.
- Dining together: Making it a point that one person never eats alone if others are in the house, assigning each family member a task in meal preparation/table setting/cleaning, reading verses and praying before every meal and sometimes inviting guests over for meals.

I found the talks by two of our pastors really helpful, and they shared alot of stories and examples.  I guess being a parent isn't easy, but, with God's grace and wisdom (and lots of prayer), we will do what we can! :)

Junior J, praying hard during one of our bible study sessions.
(He does peek sometimes!)


  1. She shared with me this too - "to let your yes be yes and your no be no".

    Hey, you have my friend seem to be in the same church.

    Is the class on last Saturday in the morning at 10 am?

    Let me check what church my friend attend

  2. Sunflower: Yes it was! Must be the same church (at Adam Road!)... Maybe PM me your friend's name and I can pop by to say hi? :)

  3. I like that phrase, "Let your yes be yes, your no be no". Very true. I try real hard not to do the pretend to say bye bye thingy but it's so tempting to do so. Very good tips. I'll be sure to take note of it.

    Btw your boy looks so cute praying! Looking forward to praying with mine =)

  4. aiyo love his face in the picture, so cute!

  5. Madeline: Haha, thanks... they are never too young to start praying with actually... I'm sure you'll enjoy the time you'll have with your Baby J!

    Bing: Ya, every time I would peek at him when he is praying, only to catch him peeking at me... so its hard to tell him not to do so, since I'm setting a bad example! :P



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