Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Thankful Tuesdays: My life (or lack of it)

We thought that number 2 would be easier to bring up, since we would have more or less learnt how to care for a baby.  But this little boy proved us wrong.  Right now, for some reason or another (we suspect it may be reflux), he has been refusing to feed when he is awake, even though he may be hungry.  So the only way to get him to nurse would be to pat him to sleep (for every. single. nap.), and when he's in light sleep, to feed him.  If I were to try feeding him earlier when he's awake, he thrashes and refuses to nurse.  And if I were to miss the window period, he would be too deep in sleep to drink.  Thanks to this strange behavior of his, he has not been gaining weight well (we went to the PD today for his shots and she confirmed it).

This also means that I have to be stuck with the little boy 24/7, since I need to make sure he feeds well during naps.  Bottles don't cut it with baby J... and going out is sometimes difficult, since he doesn't feed that well when we are out and about (Fussy fellow needs to be lying down on the bed to feed).  Thanks to all these conditions, it means I don't get to go out much, and I don't have the luxury of going off and leaving him at home (or if I do, it would probably be at the expense of a proper feed!).  If we do go out for necessary errands, it usually means that his intake is compromised.

And we don't get to go out late as the little one goes to bed by 8 plus latest, and does not seem to be able to sleep outside after his bedtime has been past.  We tried to put him to bed and let him sleep during the FIL's birthday dinner, only to have him cry and fret.  Finally, we conceded defeat after he cried so much he puked on me half-way through the dinner.

I guess some would label that as having "no life".  Because we don't get to do date nights.  Because we are usually stuck with the kids (Junior J isn't very fond of being baby-sat by my mum, and tends to be very sticky to us).  Because I can't go shopping and try clothes (something not possible if you have a baby strapped to you!).  Because I can't meet friends without having to drag along a baby and diaper bag.  Because I spend mealtimes not being able to engage in adult conversations for having to feed a fidgety toddler and wipe his mouth and carry a baby and feed myself all at the same time.  

So I spent some time talking with another mum who also goes everywhere with her kids.  And I've realized that life is what you make of it.  For some, our life may be considered as having "no life"... but for us, this kind of lifestyle has been born of necessity.  Between making sure the little one has enough to drink and having a good time, the choice is clear.  I'm not saying that its wrong to enjoy oneself, but that for us, circumstances just dictate such a lifestyle.  And though we are stuck with the kids all the time... we still do have a life.  Just a different one.  I don't get to go out that much but I still keep in touch with my friends, and they are more than ready to lend me a listening ear if I need one.  I still have good friends who know that chocolate cake and Dear Lizzy stamps help to cheer a person up.  We have great church mates that keep us in prayer.  I have my hobbies, and I do spend time destressing by cutting paper and getting my fingers happily inky.  

And those sticky kids?  We know they will soon outgrow their stickiness... then we will look back and miss the days that it was still cool to give them a hug and a kiss.  Sometimes, mums with difficult kids/babies don't need your advice, well-intentioned as it is (believe me if I said that we have tried everything in our case and nothing worked!)... some empathy would be more welcome! 

So today... I am thankful for these blessings that make up our so called life, as well as:

:: Each new tomorrow.  That while we don't know what lies ahead, we can always rest on God's constancy and promises.

:: Visits to see loved ones... and loved pets.  We had a blessed time in Penang and I'm glad the boys could spend time with their grandparents, aunt and uncle.  And it was nice being able to see our little nephew...  Junior J was terrified of the dog though, which was ironic since he used to terrorize him!  

:: Seeing the boys grow up... along with all their funny antics:

We flew Jetstar to Penang.  The boy only had eyes for the "Jetcafe" menu,
and spent most of the plane ride studying all the food pictures and pretend feeding us the food!
The boy cracks me up!

This is how Junior J helps us to take care of baby J.
He covers his lil bro with Angry Birds T-shirts, and shoves piles of tissue below his mouth
to catch the drool!

:: New beginnings and new adventures ahead with our big move coming up in less than 2 weeks.

:: Lovely readers that leave encouraging comments and emails.

Life has been blessed.  What are you thankful for?  Link up below and share!

Mum in the Making


  1. "We know they will soon outgrow their stickiness... then we will look back and miss the days that it was still cool to give them a hug and a kiss."

    ... you made me all teary there!

  2. Hey there, I totally agree, life is what you make out of it. From a fellow mom who had an extremely sticky firstborn.
    She would cry if I left to go to the bathroom, she would cry if I wasn't near her. Basically she cried A LOT. I received a lot of flake from friends and family and she was a sticky baby from 6 months till she was nearly 2. But you're right, they do outgrow it. Today she is an outgoing 4 year old who still has her moments of stickiness.

    Right now i have a new sticky baby since Luke goes everywhere with me. We haven't introduced a bottle yet cos he's still very young so in the meantime he's my siamese twin. Do I mind? Not really, I know he's our last baby so I'm treasuring every moment with him. Even if it means I can't eat a meal in peace or try on clothes ...etc

    Best of luck with your move, take care and a big hug from me to you. Dealing with sticky kids can be exhausting :)

  3. You are a wonderful mummy. I admire your patience and obvious love for your kids. You are an inspiration.

  4. Hang in there MamaJ! Baby J's feeding habits sound a lot like Noey's when he was an infant. How old is Junior J again? Noey's milk strikes started around 4 months. It used to stress me out and I would do exactly what you are doing -- nurse to sleep and pick him up for a feed when he's half-awake. He also rejected the bottle, which meant that when he would prefer to starve when I was at work. Ugh. I was so glad to start him on solids and take some of the pressure off me!

    Re having no life, I tell myself that it is just a phase. And having gone through it once and now going through it again, I know that it is true. God bless!

  5. The instagram sunset (sunrise?) photo is awesome!

    Went thru the no-life stuck to baby phase with K too. Still have no after 8 programmes. But yes, tis a season of life!

    It's really encouraging how you see His grace through it all. Keep on keeping on!

  6. You are not alone. My DD has just turned two and hubby and I have had two meals out without her in that time. We are expats in Singapore so have no family to baby sit and we do not have a helper.
    Good on you for persevering with the nursing in spite of the difficult circumstances. All the best for your big move!

  7. Your post reminded me to stop comparing and focus on my life as a SAHM for now. Realized that alot of my short-tempered moments arised from wanting too much for myself. Wish you all the best packing and settling down in Europe.

  8. Hang in there little mama! You're right about it being a phase, and as my Mum sagely advised me, we should seek to enjoy our children in every phase of their (and our) lives.
    I'm still stuck in the no-life funk though my youngest is already 18 mths! I've been able (very very slowly) to push back their bedtimes to 10pm, so we stay out a little later, and the hubs can sometimes have whole nights out. Me, not yet!
    Re: not being able to try on clothes, ASOS.com is my solution! I love it :) good prices, free international shipping, and frequent sales. Yay :) I even managed to wean myself from having to try on everything first! Else what's a mum to do?

  9. well-said, it doesn't mean having 'no life' just because life is different!
    is that nikki in the pic?? it's been so long! lol



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