Homeschool: The first month

The first month of 2016 is almost done, and we're two weeks away to Baby #4's EDD! I admit I don't feel ready for her arrival, even though this is our fourth child. Perhaps it's because we have so much going on right now at home: homeschool, the new house, decluttering, and dealing with all those heart issues for our little boys. It has been quite a tough month, with everyone falling sick, but I know God has been gently leading us through. 

I did mention we might be moving in a few months time, but didn't really elaborate since everything was still in the works. We're excited to share that we've sold off our place, and we managed to find a house that suits all our needs. We had to apply for approval to purchase the place, as hubby is only a permanent resident here, and after three over weeks of nail-biting waiting, we've received news that our application is successful. Thank God! It means the next few months will be a rather hectic period of more decluttering, packing and settling renovations, but I am so thankful that we will have a larger space for the kids to grow into. Homeschooling in our current place has been a tad challenging, since the boys sometimes are bouncing off the walls, and need space to spread out. That aside, the move would really force me to tidy and declutter, which is something we really need to do!

Homeschooling has been going on at a slow but steady pace. Most are surprised when they find out that Junior J only gets about one to two hours of sit-down lessons a day, and that the younger two don't really get lessons at all! However, that's all I think I can manage each day, since there's also the household chores and cooking to be done, and Junior J isn't able to sit down for so long. We aim for short lessons, and we've been working on Chinese, Math and Science. Chinese has been the biggest challenge, so right now it has just been a lot of reading aloud to him, and trying to get him conversant in the language. For Math, we've been using some of the MOE curricula as well as Math U See. Science has been a matter of winging it for now, and I hope to have something more structured planned soon. The younger two love sitting in for Junior J's lessons, and have been listening to the Chinese stories too! Sometimes, they disrupt our lessons, but these days I try to keep them busy with some simple activities too. Junior J usually spends most of his free time either playing with his brothers, working on one of his own projects (these days it's drawing all sorts of things), or reading. I love how homeschool gives him time and room to explore his own interests!

Home lessons aside, we are still attending a Chinese co-op as well swim class, and Junior J is currently learning how to play the cello. It's been getting harder to bring the kids out, since baby #4 is getting lower and heavier, but I'm taking it week by week. 

Lil J has been the one that has been surprising me these days. He is quite the independent learner, and hasn't been keen on anything structured. I've kept an eye out for sensitive periods, and lately he's been showing an interest in writing alphabets. However, worksheets and activities don't work, since I tried printing alphabet writing worksheets for him, only to have him draw monsters on them and then run away! While he doesn't seem to be getting any structured lessons, I know he's actively learning each day. I've been giving him lots of half-used papers to draw on and plenty of art material, and he busies himself with writing, drawing, and cutting, all on his own accord. It generates a mess most days, and some would tsk tsk at how he's not doing any "proper" work at all... but thus far it has been working for him, so I am happy to leave him to it. I've learnt that learning really takes place all the time, and sometimes we just need to provide them with the resources, and nudge them along when we spot sensitive periods when they seem ready to pick up a certain skill. 

Baby J has been quite happy to potter about, and joins his brothers for some of the activities that we try. These days the kids have been enjoying the stories by Julia Donaldson (we have been listening to her stories and songs in the car), and Baby J has been quite fascinated with the Gruffalo. The folks over at Kidsfest sent over these DIY Gruffalo puppets, and the three of them had so much fun making them! Now Junior J is asking if we can make more puppets for the rest of the characters in the Gruffalo, and is hoping that they can use the puppets to put up a Gruffalo show. I love the idea, and I think we'll be doing that soon! 

I think one of the areas we've not explored much is the aspect of drama and theatre, and I've noticed the boys love play-acting and putting up "shows" these days. I'm hoping to include this aspect more, and this current season of Kidsfest couldn't be more timely. This year, Kidsfest would be bringing to life six different children's stories (the Gruffalo, Room on the Broom, Snow Child, I Believe in Unicorns, Aliens Love Underpants and Little Red Riding Hood), and we're looking forward to watching Snow Child with the older two soon. (You can read more about the shows over at this post.) I am hoping that I don't pop before that!

I'm sort of glad to see the end of January... but now, time to prepare for Baby #4's arrival! 

What do you line your nest with?

Children are burdens.

"They cost a lot to bring up. They leave you with almost no time to yourself, and you don't get much of a life, unless you are able to get help to watch them. Don't have more than one or two kids, since they'll suck you dry. How do you think you're going to cope with four and homeschool? Much better to just pack them off to school."

I have been struggling through the week. As I stumbled through each day, with sick me and sick kids who pick at their food, with juggling sorting out house buy/sell matters and having bankers over to sign this or that, with homeschooling distracted little boys and wrestling with chores, with power struggles of a strong-willed child... these little voices, ingrained in my head by well-intentioned friends and family, kept nagging at me.

I have been losing my temper a lot this week. There are so many messes, messes that no one bothers to pick up except me, the one who can't bend over because I am 36 weeks pregnant. The pregnancy hormones are raging, the children keep fighting over tiny things and refuse to give in. The nagging little voices continue in my head.

And yesterday, after another power struggle with a strong-willed child, I snapped. I wondered if those voices were right. Why do I even bother?

I texted a friend to pray for me. I paused to think about the past two weeks. Weeks that have been exhausting, because we've been settling house matters, while caring for sick kids that keep us up at night. Weeks that have seen more than their usual share of messes, because of kids throwing up. Weeks that have forced us to our knees to pray because so many things are beyond our control.

Then I happened to read about drudgery:

"But the messes and the crying children and the electricity problems are just the individual puzzle pieces... When I step back, I see that the cooking and the homework and the messes are part of the much more glorious picture of what God is doing in our family." 


And I was reminded about a post I read about mother ducks lining their nests with feathers, plucked from themselves. Not leftover feathers that have been shed, not scavenged materials from the ground. But feathers, pulled from their own bodies.

"But it’s those words that mesmerize me: “Mother ducks pick feathers from their chests, to line their nests.” 

I lay my hand on the page, on a duck breast puffed, mother plunging beak in deep, and I say it out loud: “How else did you think nests were lined?” 

 With leftovers. 

That’s what I thought. 

With feathers discarded, the molted, the not-so-necessary feathers. I thought mother ducks picked feathers up from what was laying about, scraps, lining nests with what simply could be mustered after the fact. 

But no. No, a mother duck plucks each feather out from the heart of her bosom. She lines the nest with bits of herself — the best of herself."


And I realized that I really needed to pray. To guard my heart against bitterness and resentment. To find joy in the journey, to enjoy the littleness and messiness of my children, to find meaning in staying home and caring for the kids. Some days are harder than others, and our work is never finished, but God's grace never runs dry.

This screwtape letter came at such an apt moment (I shared it on the FB page and I know many of you identified!):

"Along those lines, be sure the Mother starts to value productivity above everything else. Have her wake up early and work non-stop until bedtime. If the husband relaxes in the evening with an hour of computer gaming, be sure the wife notices the pile of unfolded laundry or unswept floors. Do not let her grab a book and relax alongside her husband. Diligence, often one of the Enemy’s virtues, when overdone can be used to our advantage as well. Convince her that as long as there is a shred of work to be done (and there always is), no one should be resting. Then, as she folds and sweeps and he sits, you can introduce the sweet bitterness of resentment. 

... Now, onto the children. Lovely little opportunities for us, the children, especially the little ones. We all know that children are a favorite tool of the Enemy. He calls them Blessings and Gifts and calls parents to lay down their lives for them, just as his Son did. Insane, I know. We must convince her that the obnoxious little people she has charge of are not really worth her sacrifice. When the Mother first dreamed of having children, she probably imagined large, innocent eyes and chubby, happy grins taking up the majority of her days. 

Do your best to shatter those expectations. Instead, draw attention to how much they take from her. Let them take and take and take… And need and need and need, until the Mother feels totally spent. Let them start crying at the same time for the most irrational of reasons. Let the noise bother her. Let their bad behavior surprise her. Do your best to make the day-to-day monotony of diaper changes, meals, and baths seem simultaneously overwhelming and beneath her. Let her think of all the better, more important things she could be doing with her life, if only she didn’t have the children."


Reading this whole letter helped to silence those little voices in my head. It helped me to focus beyond our current struggles and our present messes, and reminded me that motherhood is a sacrifice that is worth making.

So I'm back to doing the next thing, and trying to focus on the things that really matter. And praying that I can joyfully line our nest with more of me, because that is what mother ducks are made to do.

Play: Building with Miclik

We love building toys, and most of the toys we have at home are those that you build with, such as Lego, building blocks, K'nex and Plus-plus. The boys enjoy constructing various things, and these are the toys that keep them occupied for a relatively long period of time, and satisfy their need to fiddle and tinker with stuff. It's always interesting to see how the kids use these to build all sorts of structures, from houses, to boats, to imaginary machines!

Recently, the folks over at Explorer Junior contacted us to see if we were keen to try out Miclik, another building toy. Thus far, most building toys we've used usually come with a variety of parts (think Lego and K'nex). However, Miclik only provides one kind of connector for building (similar to Plus-Plus), which means that children would have to be more creative in how they use the connectors during the construction process. 

Each box of Miclik comes with 48 connectors in four different colours. The plastic connectors were very well made, with no sharp seams that can cut little hands. 

Each box of connectors comes with a small instruction booklet, that has a few photos of things you could build, as well as some step-by-step instructions. However, there isn't much in the booklet, so it's really up to the kids to how they want to use these connectors!

While the connectors are the same, they hold a fair bit of construction potential. There are six holes at the back of each connector, so you can attach pieces and turn them at an angle. Because each connector can be bent in the middle, it means you can build 3D round structures, or parts that can fold. However, this also means that kids must figure out how to attach the connectors together such that they stay straight or bend, depending on what they want to build. 

The connectors are large enough to be safe for the younger ones, since they are too big to be swallowed. Toddlers might find the pieces tricky to affix together, but Baby J enjoyed building with them, since he figured out a way to just stack the pieces without having to click the connectors together! 

Initially, the boys were a little stuck when it came to playing with Miclik, and they only tried making swords following the pictures in the instruction booklet. Junior J could build his with ease, while Lil J found that his sword flopped as he didn't know how to alternate the pieces to ensure they did not bend. 

However, after some fiddling, they decided to make a birthday cake. After the "cake" was made, they encountered some difficulty with attaching candles, which was solved by Baby J who just slotted the pieces on top! So they got busy with slotting pieces to making wobbly candles... 

... and then Junior J decided he would make a "lighter", and proceeded to "light" the candles by transferring a yellow connector from his lighter to each candle. What followed was a lot of jostling to blow out the candles. :) It was really interesting, seeing how they worked together to figure everything out!

As a building toy, I think Miclik holds a fair bit of potential, but is more suitable for the older kids, as we found that the connectors sometimes don't hold very well and require some adjusting (especially when building structures that require the connectors to be bent). However, Miclik would also be a good toy in a family with mixed ages, since there are no small parts that can be a hazard to the little ones! 

Thank you, Explorer Junior, for letting us try out Miclik! It really came at a great time, since the boys have been stuck home sick, and these have been keeping them busy. 

For more information on Miclik, please hop over to the Explorer Junior website, and do like their FB page to be kept updated on promotions. 

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Explorer Junior is kindly giving away one set of Miclik each to two readers of this blog! Please follow the instructions in the Rafflecopter widget below to enter in the giveaway. For more chances to win a set, you can also hop over to their FB page to take part in another contest here, with three sets to be won!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclaimer: We were sponsored Miclik sets for purpose of the review. No monetary compensation was received, and all opinions are my own.

Junior J's 7th

We celebrated Junior J turning seven over the weekend with a small party. We had decided to throw the party on an earlier date, so that his Godmother could attend, and I was also worried that baby might come along anytime soon! 

This turned out to be the simplest parties we've ever thrown for the kids. For those who have been following this blog for awhile, you know how we do parties: DIY decor, handmade party packs, simple games, and hearty fare. We like things simple, but the crafter in me cannot resist throwing in some decorations and DIY projects, but it's always done on a shoestring budget. I've shared about how we've learnt that parties are not just about celebrating someone turning a year older, but also about thanking our loved ones for being with us for this journey of witnessing our children growing up. 

This time round though, I was just too exhausted from the pregnancy and everything that was going on, so I had a chat with Junior J and told him that we would not be doing much in terms of decorations for his party. I felt terrible, since Junior J loves planning for parties, and has been my main helper for preparing for them, from making a bus for his brother's party to packing party packs. The boy was slightly disappointed, but sweetly told me it was ok. But he did ask if we could have party packs for his friends, to thank them for coming.

Of course I said yes to that! The boy had requested for an animal theme this round, and asked me to ask his friends' parents about their kids' favourite animals. We bought kraft shopping bags from Daiso, and he drew the animals on each paper bag, and filled each with some snacks as well as a set of oil pastels. He wasn't too sure about drawing some of the animals, so we googled for step-by-step instructions for some of them, which he followed. 

Aside from the party packs, he had one more request. Or rather, it came out as a question: "Will you decorate the blackboard wall for the party, Mama?"

And so I did.

I've been doing these blackboard birthday greetings for the past two years, ever since we painted the wall in our entryway with chalkboard paint. Little did I know how much the kids enjoyed this little gesture, of waking up and seeing birthday greetings scrawled across the wall for their party! I guess it's really these little things that matter. 

Unfortunately though, Lil J fell pretty sick the day before the party. The older two had been a little under the weather for the past few days, and Lil J suddenly worsened the night before, and was coughing and wheezing. Our hands were tied: we had ordered two large platters of sushi from Sakuraya, and we had already collected the birthday cake from Cedele. We couldn't postpone the party to the next weekend as the hubby couldn't make it, and I was worried about baby's arrival too. 

We texted our friends to inform them. One couple had a young baby, so we regretfully told them it would be safer to stay home for baby's sake. Another couple were a little worried, but did not want to disappoint the birthday boy, so they gamely said they would bring the kids. The other adults all said they would still come. We decided the best option was to ask the kids to wear masks, and our friends got their kids to agree to wear masks and make it a game so that no one would feel strange. Even Baby J asked to wear a mask, after he saw everyone wearing masks! 

My heart was so so full the day of the party. It was a smaller turn-out, but to see all our friends coming down to celebrate with Junior J, despite the possibility that they might catch a bug... that reminded me again about why we throw parties. It's about the people, and not how pretty the cake is. It's about meeting together to celebrate, and not about how nice the decorations are. (So for those who came, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can't tell you how much it meant to this little boy!)

So we didn't have games. But the kids were kept busy learning how to fold and fly paper aeroplanes (thanks to Junior J's Godfather). And they happily played together, never mind that they had to wear masks. Junior J learnt that day to be a good host. He had to serve drinks and look out for his little guests, and also learnt how he sometimes had to give in, so that everyone could feel included during playtime. I was very proud of him that day. I was also very thankful for my parents, who helped to watch out for the younger kids so that we could chat with our friends. 

We had a simple spread of sushi, fishballs and nuggets, all requested by the birthday boy. The hubby, though having a splitting headache, went out before the party to collect everything, and I was thankful for a hands-on Papa like him. Junior J got the chocolate cake he wanted too (which he reminded me had to be eggless so that his brothers could share in it too), and I made a little Perler dinosaur topper to decorate the cake. This boy has always been making Perler bead creations for his brothers, but they are too young to make any for him, so I thought I'd do one just for him for a change!

There were no other decorations this time round. No streamers, not birthday bunting, and we didn't even hang up balloons, but let the kids run wild with them. But all in all, it was how birthday parties should be: about family and friends, gathering to feast and celebrate together. Happy birthday in advance, my dearest boy!

2016: The first week of homeschool

We started off 2016 feeling rather weary. I was doing a fair bit of solo-parenting, as the hubby was on call on the last day of 2015, and just before that had driven up to KL at attend a relative's funeral. We were quite stressed regarding house hunting and all, and I really wanted to ease slowly into the new year. 

So we spent the first day of the year quietly, spending it running around in the park, letting the kids do what they love best: exploring and enjoying nature. I love times like this, when we don't have an agenda, when we don't have to rush to some appointment, when all we have is the company of loved ones.

I had such mixed feelings on the first day of school. My Facebook feed was flooded with photos of my friends' children, all dressed in new uniforms, ready for a new phase of life in Primary One. Everyone was talking about time: how they had to wake up at crazy early hours, how time flew past so quickly that now their babies are all grown up and are going to school. I wondered if my kids were missing out, because of our choice to homeschool. Reading "first day of school" posts in the homeschool group helped somewhat, since everyone was doing such different things, from waking up late, to puzzles or caring for febrile kids. I was reminded that while our journeys look very different from families who do not homeschool, we parents are all the same: wanting the best for our kids, excited about the opportunities ahead, yet worried about how things will turn out. I had that same sense of pride, as I looked at my scruffy-haired six year old (he was the only kid without a new haircut in his Sunday School class!) as he struggled through breakfast. They do grow up so fast.

We let Junior J choose where he wanted to go for his first day of school, and he chose the S.E.A. Aquarium. The hubby was off that day, so we made a trip down. Everyone was rather tired and grumpy initially (there were no happy first day of school smiles that morning!), and we were exhausted from caring for a feverish Baby J, who had a fever the night before due to his MMRV. But the kids did enjoy the trip, and I was reminded about why we homeschool.

The first week of homeschool has past, and I'm making it a point to ease ourselves slowly into a workable routine. Nothing ambitious, just short lessons, since we have to factor in a newborn in a couple of weeks time, followed by a possible move in a few months time. For now, we are just focusing on reading more Chinese, working on Math, and teaching Lil J to read. I know it doesn't sound very exciting, but I'm heartened by the fact that we've managed to keep this up for the past few days, and Junior J has said that he will read to Lil J in Chinese when he has learnt how to. This, coming from the boy who hasn't been keen on the language!

I've been reminded, after a few challenging days with the kids, that all I need to do is the next thing. I keep telling myself that we can't have it all, and I just need to focus on what is important. Let's see how next week goes! 

Lessons from an Autumn Leaf butterfly

Some time ago, the boys and I went down to the park to meet some co-op mates for lunch. On our way there, Lil J spotted a caterpillar wandering on the bicycle path, and scooped it to safety. We went to the nearby restaurant where we were supposed to have lunch, and asked if they could spare us a plastic container, and we ended up placing Mr Caterpillar into the box. 

The caterpillar generated a fair bit of excitement, and one of the mummies mentioned that she spotted a whole lot more of them. Turned out she was right: there was a caterpillar infestation on a stand of bushes, and there were probably a hundred of these black, wriggly fellows crawling everywhere! Many had actually wandered off (I've read that caterpillars sometimes start wandering and leave their host plant just before pupation, as they don't usually pupate on their host plant.), and a fair number of them had been run over on the bike path next to the bush. We figured it would be ok to catch another fellow, since there were so many and they had eaten the bush almost bare, and another (very brave) mum helped us to catch it. There were so many, that quite a few of the leaves that we plucked off the bush actually had small caterpillars on them! (That lead to a fair bit of screaming, but those caterpillars got returned back, and we only chose the large ones, since that would mean a shorter time for pupation.)

The boys were really excited about their caterpillars, and named them Wriggly and Squirmy. One mum managed to identify the caterpillars as those of the Autumn Leaf butterfly (this page was really informative). Both caterpillars seemed to be doing pretty well the first few days. However, we forgot to place branches inside our container, and poor Wriggly decided to pupate on the floor of the container, and only managed to pupate half-way before stopping. We hurriedly transferred Squirmy to a larger tank, gave him some branches, and he seemed quite happy for a few days. 

However, we ran out of food. I read that caterpillars can be really fussy about food, only choosing fresh leaves, and they may starve themselves rather than eat other types of leaves. Those leaves we had brought back from the park had already wilted, and we were unsuccessful in our hunt for suitable plants to feed them (as listed here), even though the boys went searching every day. 

It was a really busy period for us, so we didn't manage to make it back to the same park until a few days later. We decided to bring back two more caterpillars with us, along with fresh leaves for Squirmy, only to find Squirmy dead from hunger when we got back. 

The boys were upset. However, with those lessons learnt, we were able to better take care of the two new caterpillars, which they named Creepy and Crawly. We had brought back a whole lot more leaves this round, and kept some of the leaves separately with their stems in water, to ensure there was always a fresh supply of food. 

Creepy pupated about a week ago, and the boys were really excited to see him hanging upside down in preparation for the process. However, he didn't seem to finish the pupation process, and there was a section above the chrysalis that remained as a caterpillar. We were disappointed, as we thought he was a goner! However, we left him as he is, since Crawly was still in the tank. 

We continued feeding Crawly fresh leaves, and he pupated a few days back. This time, we finally had a complete chrysalis. We left the tank alone after that, since pupation takes approximately a week. Imagine our surprise when yesterday morning, I spotted some movement and discovered that Creepy had emerged from his chrysalis!

Everyone was really, really excited. I had tried researching on what happens if caterpillars do not seem to finish their pupation process, and had come up with nothing, so I didn't have much hope that Creepy would make it. But there he was, a perfect Autumn leaf butterfly, gingerly fanning his wings while clinging onto the tank. 

After about half a day, Creepy started flying around in the tank, so we brought him down to release him. I was so worried he would knock Crawly down!

I think the process of metamorphosis is such an amazing one: how a rather ugly-looking squirmy creature wraps himself up, then proceeds to turn into enzymatic mush, which then re-organizes itself into a delicate creature with wings. Seeing it happen before our very eyes made us appreciate it even better. Being surprised with the transformation, which we thought would never happen in Creepy's case was the best part though. It reminded me of how God works in all things. Even though sometimes we think things are hopeless, when we think that change is impossible... with Him all things are possible. It gave me hope, to keep trusting in Him. It reminded me that while sometimes bringing up our children with their quirks, tempers and bad habits can be challenging, we should keep hoping in God to bring about change, though we cannot see how change can happen. 

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On a more practical note, here are some tips if you'd like to keep some caterpillars to observe their life-cycle:

1. Try to identify the caterpillars, and collect those that are larger, and at a more advanced larval stage. Those caterpillars we collected were at their 5th and final instar larval stage, and usually pupate in a few days. This means you'll have to feed them for a shorter period of time, and the larger ones tend to be hardier. 

2. Caterpillars may be wandering away from their host plant just prior to pupation, but it would be good to collect caterpillars which are still feeding, so that you can identify their host plants. Ensure you have a fresh supply of leaves. Collect some leaves that are still attached to their stems and keep those on water. Crawly ate almost one leaf a day, and rejected any that were wilted. 

3. Have branches for them to crawl on, and ensure that the container has sufficient space for the butterfly to emerge and spread its wings. 

4. If you're using a regular food container, ensure the holes you poke in the container do not have sharp edges, which can scratch the caterpillar. The best is to cut a hole in the cover and use a gauze to cover the hole. 

5. These were the resources we enjoyed while learning about the life-cycle of butterflies:

- Hurry and the Monarch (book)

- A Butterfly is Patient (book)

- A Monarch Butterfly's Life (book)

- Autumn Leaf Butterfly (Youtube video of the different stages of the Autumn leaf butterfly)

- Autumn Leaf Butterfly Eclosure (Youtube video of the emerging of the butterfly from it's chrysalis)

- Life Cycle of the Monarch Butterfly (Youtube video of the stages of the Monarch butterfly)

Hello 2016!

2016 is here! This month is looking to be rather hectic, since we are in the process of settling some buying/selling house matters. It's taken up a fair bit of time, with house-hunting, and people coming to view our place. While I don't like starting the new year in such a busy mode, I guess it can't be helped. However, I hope everything will be sorted out and settled soon, and I'll share more here when the time is right.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to focus on what we were trying to do last year: pruning. I guess that while my one little word for the year is "grow", pruning would still be a necessary process to allow growth to occur. January would be spent decluttering to prepare for CNY, the arrival of baby J, as well as a possible move in the middle of the year. That aside, I'm trying to also get our engines going for homeschool, so I desperately need the time to focus. As such, things might be a little quieter on the blog, and I admit I don't really have big plans for this space for the next few months, save to share more about how homeschooling and decluttering is going. Meanwhile, you'll probably be able to get more updates over on our FB page and IG account.

Anyway, here's to a blessed year ahead!