Love Letters: In His good time

My dearest children,

Mama used to teach. I had the opportunity to witness the phenomenon called "growing up" on hundreds of students, where I saw them change from rather mischievous young boys, into men. These ex-students of mine are all in their twenties now. Many are working, and some even have gotten married! Some of these students were quite a handful in school: they failed subjects, they were rowdy in class, they couldn't sit still. Some fell asleep in class half the time, some had alot of angst, some of them sometimes forgot to do their homework. But you know what? Almost all of them turned out pretty ok in the end. The pimples cleared up, the moodiness of adolescence faded, and they grew up.

I had the chance to chat with one of my ex-students recently, when he dropped me a note to ask if I was able to write a letter of recommendation for his application to university. His story was different from the typical kid studying in Singapore, and I am sharing his story here with permission. While most take the direct path of secondary, then tertiary education, he dropped out of polytechnic halfway, and later went to do his National Service. It was in NS that he decided to sit for his A levels as a private candidate, and he went on to do pretty well. It was a story of determination, and he shared that to study for his As, he borrowed notes from strangers in the library, and got notes off the internet. Now he is applying for University.

While my student's story had a somewhat happy "ending", I can imagine how his parents would have been worried about him. As parents, we tend to worry about your future. Living in this society that values academic qualifications doesn't help, especially when the focus tends towards accelerating learning, even during the early childhood years. I admit, sometimes I am terrified when thinking about the uncertainties that homeschooling brings, since this is a path less trodden. But my student's story is a reminder to me, that not every child's path through life is a straight one. Some take a more meandering path, some head the wrong way, only to make a u-turn later. Whatever the case, I am again assured that God makes all things beautiful in His own time, and that we need to continue trusting in Him. I need to keep remembering that He holds your futures in His loving hands, and that everyone's journey is different.

Now all of you are still young, and it is my hope that you'll keep playing, exploring and discovering. You've taught me how achieving all these milestones of growing up are a matter of time. I've learnt that some just need a little more time to get there. No matter what, know that we'll never give up on you, and that we'll always be behind you. So take your time. Like how flowers grow and blossom in according to the seasons, bloom only when you're ready.

Love,
Your Mama and Papa.

Grow: A letter to the boy who was terrified of water

Dearest Junior J,
You used to fear the water very much. Or rather, you were terrified of water getting into your nose, so you didn't dare venture beyond the shallows, and would refuse to put your head into the water. No amount of coaxing or reasoning helped. You just simply tuned everything out.

When we started you on swimming lessons, you were terrified. You clung on desperately to the side of the pool whenever the coach tried to get you into slightly deeper water. You were the oldest in the group of four, yet while the rest were all swimming months into starting the class, you were still learning to doggie paddle, simply because you couldn't put your head into the water. After awhile of trying to push you to try, I decided that you simply were not ready yet. I am thankful that your coach patiently continued to teach you various ways of swimming, without requiring you to have your head submerged. Over time, you became more confident in the water. You were no longer panicking when you had to go into deeper water. However, you still refused to put your head under.

Then recently, we decided to ask you to try to put your head under again. And this time, you tried! I wasn't at the class since Mama is still on confinement, but Auntie C sent me a video, excitedly telling me you tried twice. Then later on at home, you tried again when you were in the bath, and you managed to put your nose under for 8 seconds!

I can't tell you how proud I am of you, that you tried. I know that fear is irrational, yet can be so crippling, and I am so glad that you manage to overcome it. I am also so thankful for your coach, that he was patient enough to continue teaching you. You'll still need to get the hang of swimming with your head underwater, and that will take some time, but I am so happy that you've taken the first step!

With this, you've taught me again about how learning and growing is a matter of time. Our society is very preoccupied with efficiency and instant results, and sometimes we forget that many things take time. Like how little children need time to grow up. Like how an acorn needs years to grow into a mighty oak. Like how a house is built, brick upon brick. We tend to want things fast, and forget that sometimes it is going slow that produces the mightiest changes, like how waves carve lofty cliffs over the span of thousand of years. Thank you for the reminder that we need to give each of you time to grow, and remember your parents will always be cheering you on, no matter how long a time you need.

Love,
Your Mama and Papa.