Grow: A letter to the boy who was terrified of water

Dearest Junior J,
You used to fear the water very much. Or rather, you were terrified of water getting into your nose, so you didn't dare venture beyond the shallows, and would refuse to put your head into the water. No amount of coaxing or reasoning helped. You just simply tuned everything out.

When we started you on swimming lessons, you were terrified. You clung on desperately to the side of the pool whenever the coach tried to get you into slightly deeper water. You were the oldest in the group of four, yet while the rest were all swimming months into starting the class, you were still learning to doggie paddle, simply because you couldn't put your head into the water. After awhile of trying to push you to try, I decided that you simply were not ready yet. I am thankful that your coach patiently continued to teach you various ways of swimming, without requiring you to have your head submerged. Over time, you became more confident in the water. You were no longer panicking when you had to go into deeper water. However, you still refused to put your head under.

Then recently, we decided to ask you to try to put your head under again. And this time, you tried! I wasn't at the class since Mama is still on confinement, but Auntie C sent me a video, excitedly telling me you tried twice. Then later on at home, you tried again when you were in the bath, and you managed to put your nose under for 8 seconds!

I can't tell you how proud I am of you, that you tried. I know that fear is irrational, yet can be so crippling, and I am so glad that you manage to overcome it. I am also so thankful for your coach, that he was patient enough to continue teaching you. You'll still need to get the hang of swimming with your head underwater, and that will take some time, but I am so happy that you've taken the first step!

With this, you've taught me again about how learning and growing is a matter of time. Our society is very preoccupied with efficiency and instant results, and sometimes we forget that many things take time. Like how little children need time to grow up. Like how an acorn needs years to grow into a mighty oak. Like how a house is built, brick upon brick. We tend to want things fast, and forget that sometimes it is going slow that produces the mightiest changes, like how waves carve lofty cliffs over the span of thousand of years. Thank you for the reminder that we need to give each of you time to grow, and remember your parents will always be cheering you on, no matter how long a time you need.

Love,
Your Mama and Papa.

Grow: Looking to 2016

This December hasn't been feeling like the usual holiday season for us. We've skipped on doing any Advent activities, and I've decided to forgo getting a Christmas tree. If you've noticed, we've yet to do any Christmas-related crafts this year. We've also opted to spend our time quietly at home, rather than join many of the December camps/programmes, save for art classes for Junior J. 

December is usually full of celebrations for us (we have three birthdays in the family!), but this round, we've kept it as simple as we could go. Baby J's turning two was celebrated with a simple dinner out with my parents, while I asked for a home-cooked dinner for my own birthday, because it was just so much easier to feed the kids at home. 

Instead, I've been using this month to think hard about the year ahead. 2016 will be a year of many changes. We've received our certificate of exemption from compulsory education (thank you God!), and are gearing up for our first official year of homeschool. Opening up that letter from MOE, and finding the cert brought a rush of mixed feelings: of relief that our application was successful, of terror at the enormous responsibility of being the almost sole educator for Junior J, of excitement for the school year that is to come. To be honest, I must say I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the thought of having to juggle homeschooling a Primary 1 kid on top of regular household chores and caring for the kids. For now, I'm trying my best to focus on matters of the heart, and the ingraining of good habits, instead of looking at the academics and activities, so that we can have a smoother journey forward. God knows that I sorely need to inculcate some good habits myself!

With that in mind, I think my one little word for 2016 would be "Grow". I hope the new year would be one where we can see the boys growing in character, and I've been talking to the older two about how they would need to assume more responsibility at home, especially when baby comes along in February. (You can read about our one little word for 2015 here.)

I was busy doing up photobooks for the grandparents recently, and came across these photos, taken in the months after Baby J's arrival. It reminded me of how the first year after having a new addition is a year of juggling and of having to adapt to many changes. It is a year of learning to cope, of taking it step by step, of having to slow down. Yet, it is also a year of sweet memories, of baby smells, of new discoveries, of seeing your little ones grow, of having the triumph of surviving yet another day of crazies. After having three kids, I've learnt that life does settle into a more predictable and easier flow after baby turns one, and I'm hanging on to that hope for the year ahead.

And as if a newborn and homeschooling is not enough, we might also be looking at a move to a bigger home in 2016 too. (Talk about growing huh?) We've stayed in our current home for a decade since the hubby and I got married, and it's seen the arrival of all our babies. However, with four, and us staying home more often due to homeschool, we are thinking it might be time to move some place bigger so that the kids have more space. (So if you happen to be looking for a fairly large HDB flat with three bedrooms, a hardworking kitchen, and located near many good playgrounds and amenities, drop me a note!) This is still in the works though, since there are many uncertainties and what-ifs, so we'll see how it goes, and are leaving it in God's hands to see if everything pulls through.

I am very thankful for the year that has passed, and God certainly has been faithful. While 2015 has been a blessed one, I am looking forward to 2016!